關於英語幽默短文帶翻譯閱讀

　　幽默是一種潤膚膏，它使我避免了許多摩擦和痛苦。小編整理了關於英語幽默短文帶翻譯，歡迎閱讀!

　　關於英語幽默短文帶翻譯篇一

　　Three men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Accountant, the second man was a Chemist, the third was a Government Worker.

　　To show off, the Accountant called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 3 equal piles of 4 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

　　But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good.

　　Then the two men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your cat do?" The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

　　三個男人在吹噓他們的貓有多麼聰明。第一個男人是個會計師，第二個男人是個化學家，第三個則是個公務員。

　　為了炫耀，會計師叫來他的貓，然後說：“Spreadsheet，幹你的活去。”Spreadsheet走進了廚房，拿回來一打曲奇餅乾，再分成3堆，每堆四塊。每個人都覺得乾的很好。

　　但是化學家說他的貓可以做的更好。他叫來他的貓然後說：“Measure，幹你的活去。”Measure起身，走到冰箱那去，拿出來一夸脫牛奶，再從櫥櫃裡拿出一個10盎司的玻璃杯，在裡面準確無誤地倒入了8盎司牛奶，一滴都沒撒。每個人都覺得乾的很好。

　　這三個人對公務員說，“你的貓可以幹什麼?”公務員叫來他的貓然後說：“Coffee break，幹你的活去。”Coffee Break跳到他的腳邊，吃掉了曲奇，喝掉了牛奶，這樣做的時候號稱背受傷了，然後寫了一份委屈的報告說工作環境實在不安全，交給工會後，回家度過了剩下的一天。

　　關於英語幽默短文帶翻譯篇二

　　The Broom Seller and the Barber

　　賣掃帚的人和理髮師

　　A man who sold brooms went into a barber’s shop to get shaved. The barber brought one of his brooms. After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms.

　　一個賣掃帚的人去理髮店修面。理髮師從他那裡買了一把掃帚。當理髮師給他修面後，問一下他掃帚的價格。

　　“Two pence,” said the man.

　　賣掃帚的人說：“兩個便士。”

　　“No, no,” said the barber. “I will give you a penny, and if you don’t think that is enough, you may take your broom back!”

　　“不，不。”理髮師說：“我只出一個便士，如果你認為不夠的話，可以把掃帚拿回去。”

　　The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave.

　　賣掃帚的人拿回了掃帚，隨後問修面要付多少錢。

　　“A penny,” said the barber.

　　“一便士。”理髮師說。

　　“I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again.”

　　賣掃帚的人說：“我給你半個便士，如果不夠的話，請把我的鬍子還給我。”

　　關於英語幽默短文帶翻譯篇三

　　New friends

　　新朋友

　　When my wife，Diana, and I met a new couple at church one Sunday, we stopped to introduce ourselves and to exchange pleasantries. We described the friendly neighborhood we lived in，and listened sympathetically as they lamented that theirs was just the opposite.

　　一個星期天，我和妻子戴安娜去教堂時，碰到了一對新婚的夫婦。於是，我們停下車，向他們做了自我介紹，我們之間還表達了相互認識的喜悅之情。我們的話題開始談到了鄰居，我們說我們的鄧居如何如何的好。當他們說到他們的鄰居恰恰相反時，我們表示了對他們的同情。

　　Saying our good-byes, we got in our cars and drove home. As we approached our house，we were horrified to see that our new-found friends were pulling into the driveway next to ours.

　　後來，我們向他們道了別，開車回到了家。當我們把車子開到家門口時，我們驚奇地發現我們的新結識的那對新婚夫婦把車停在了隔璧的停車道上。