英語搞笑笑話帶翻譯超搞笑的

　　笑話是一種經過藝術加工的語言形式,是藝術化的語言，笑話是一種藝術方法，用這種方法造成以笑為藝術手段的文學藝術作品。下面是小編整理的英語搞笑笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語搞笑笑話篇一：兩顆番茄

　　he first tomato has no answer, the second tomato asked again. The tomato has no answer, so the second tomato asked again. The first tomato finally turned slowly, said: "we are not tomatoes? We can talk?"

　　兩顆番茄去逛街，第一顆番茄突然走得很快，第二顆番茄就問：“我們要去哪裡?” 第一顆番茄沒有回答，第二顆番茄又問了一次。 第一顆番茄還沒回答，所以第二顆番茄又問了一次。 第一顆番茄終於慢慢轉頭說：“我們不是番茄嗎?我們會說話嗎?”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇二：相同的職責

　　The Same DutiesA retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."

　　相同的職責一個退休的四星級將軍在曼哈頓的一個酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤務兵，勤務兵也退休在家。這位將軍花了一整個晚上的時間來說服他回來做他的貼身隨從。“你的職責與在軍隊時完全一樣，”將軍說，“這沒什麼，你很快就會再次理解它的。” 第二天早晨八點鐘時，前勤務兵迅速地進到前將軍的臥室，拉開窗簾，輕輕地搖了搖將軍，然後大步走到床的另一側，在他僱主的妻子屁股上拍了一下，說道：“好了，甜心，你該回到村莊去了。”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇三：你爺爺

　　A well dressed young man demanded as soon as he entered the restaurant:"Serve me, quick! Give me your best. I don't care the price."Not like the way he talked, the waiter said to him: "Hey Buddy, it doesn't matter you have a lot of money. You are still son of somebody, and grandson of somebody else."The young man raged: "Dare you! Tell me, who wants me to be his grandson?"The waiter replied with ease: "Nobody. Just your grandfather."

　　一位衣冠楚楚的年青人一進飯店就大聲嚷嚷：“喂，有什麼好菜儘管端上來，錢多少我不在乎。”服務員聽了很不是滋味：“哥兒們，錢多頂個屁，你不照樣得做別人的兒子，就是有人要你做孫子你也不敢不做!”年青人勃然大怒：“誰敢佔老子的便宜?你說，是誰不要命了，膽敢要老子做他的孫子?”服務員慢條斯理地答道：“你爺爺!”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇四：孩子與母親

　　A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”

　　一個孩子好奇的問媽媽：“媽咪，為什麼你的頭髮有的變灰白了?”

　　The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!”

　　媽媽想利用這個機會好好教育教育她的孩子：“因為你啊，寶貝。每次你不聽話，我就會有一根頭髮變灰白的。”

　　The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.”

　　孩子天真的回答：“現在我知道為什麼外祖母頭上只有灰白的頭髮了。”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇五：廣告的效力

　　Some businessmen were talking about advertising on TV excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, every one had his point of view.

　　一群商人正熱烈地討論在電視上做廣告。他們中沒有人做過，所以每個人都有自己的想法。

　　At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. Grey was a car dealer and he had once made an advertisement.

　　此時，格雷先生進來了。格雷是一個汽車經銷商，他曾經做過一次廣告。

　　"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked.

　　“你們在討論什麼?”格雷先生問。

　　"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked.

　　“廣告有用不?”其中一位商人問。

　　"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100."

　　“噢，有用，而且見效非常快。”格雷先生說，“我曾經發布了一條廣告，要招聘一個值班員，報酬是100美金。”

　　"Did you get the dog back?"

　　“你招聘到人了嗎?”

　　"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."

　　“沒，但是那個晚上我的三輛車被偷走了。”

　　【註釋】

　　笑話中出現了come by這個片語，我們來學習一下它的兩種意思：

　　1. pay a visit 來訪，拜訪

　　例：I'll come by after work and see if you need any help. 我下班後會再來拜訪，看看你有什麼需要幫忙的地方。

　　2. acquire 獲得，得到

　　例：A good assistant is hard to come by. 要得到一個好助手很困難。

　　Comment: 保安沒招來，倒把賊招來了!所以說有錢這件事還是不要“廣而告之”為好……

　　英語搞笑笑話篇六：我和老師的故事

　　Teacher: Where does God live?

　　老師：上帝住哪兒?

　　Student: I think he lives in our bathroom.

　　學生：我想他應該住我家浴室。

　　Teacher: Why do you say that?

　　老師：為什麼這麼說?

　　Student: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, "God, are you still in there?"

　　學生：因為每天早上我爸都猛敲浴室的大門喊：“上帝啊，你怎麼還在裡面?”

　　Teacher: How can you tell a hawk has good eyesight?

　　老師：為什麼說鷹的視力很好?

　　Student: Because I have never seen a hawk wearing spectacles.

　　學生：因為我從沒見過哪隻鷹戴眼鏡。

　　Teacher: Tom and John! Why are you late for school today?

　　老師：湯姆!約翰!你倆今天為什麼遲到了!

　　Tom: Madam, I lost a one-dollar coin and was searching for it.

　　湯姆：老師，我一直在找我丟失的一美元硬幣。

　　Teachear: John, what about you?

　　老師：那麼你呢，約翰?

　　John: Madam, I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet.

　　約翰：老師，我不能動啊，我把他的硬幣藏腳底下了。

　　Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?

　　老師：你父親有沒有幫著你做作業?

　　Student: No, he did it all by himself.

　　學生：沒有，他是獨立完成的。

　　Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?

　　老師：西印度群島有哪些產物?

　　Student: I don't know.

　　學生：我不曉得。

　　Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?

　　老師：怎麼會不知道，你每天吃的糖哪兒來的?

　　Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

　　學生：鄰居家借的。