好玩的英語笑話小短文

　　民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作鬥爭的過程中，以口頭形式創作和傳承的文學體裁。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：Things You'll Never Hear At A Nascar Race

　　"None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth."

　　"Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race."

　　"Dating your own sister? Man, that's sick!"

　　"My God, this is a splendid Merlot!"

　　"Hey, you with the large chest. Out of the way! We're trying to watch a race here!"

　　"Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my atache case."

　　"What a coincidence, Hank. All my friends are boycotting Hooters, too!"

　　"These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert!"

　　"Whew! No more beer for me, fellas."

　　"And now... Singing our National Anthem, international recording artist, Boy George!"

　　：Getting Into The Olympics

　　Three rednecks were trying to sneak into the Olympic Village while in Atlanta to scoopsouvenirs and autographs. The first says, "Let's watch the registration table to see if there's a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in."

　　Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, "Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput." He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant.

　　The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information."

　　The first guy gets inspired and grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: "Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin."

　　The attendant says, "Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!"

　　The second guy grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up to the registration table and states: "Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus."

　　The attendant says, "Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself."

　　They scamper in, but suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They groan, because he's a simpleton from the hills of Vermont. They forgot to make sure he doesn't do something stupid and blow their cover stories.

　　Just then he walks proudly up to the table with a roll of barbed wire under his arm and states: "Foster Bean. Hardwick, Vermont. Fencing."

　　：2 X 4's or 4 X 2's

　　Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumberyard. One of the men walked into the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

　　The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

　　The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.

　　He returned shortly and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four."

　　"All right. How long do you need them?"

　　The customer paused for a moment and said, "I'd better go check."

　　After a while, he returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

　　：Redneck Logic

　　Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

　　The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic.

　　"What's Logic?" the first redneck asks. The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "I sure do."

　　"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

　　"That's real good!" says the redneck. The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house." Impressed, the redneck says, "Amazin!" "And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife." "That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck is obviously catching on. "Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor. "You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!!"

　　The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting.

　　"So what classes are ya takin' ?" asks the friend. "Math, History, and Logic!" replies the first redneck. "What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend. "Let me give you an example.

　　Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

　　"No," his friend replied.

　　"You're QUEER, ain't ya?"