超級搞笑英語笑話小短文
笑話受歡迎的原因當然在於其笑果。那麼,笑話是如何產生的呢?就像文學源於生活一樣,笑話也是源於生活。下面是小編帶來的,歡迎閱讀!
篇一
給予與提取
My friend's preparations for a visit from her children included a trip to the bank. Waiting in line at the teller's window, she lamented to the middle-aged man behind' her,"My children are in their 20's,and I'm still giving them money. When does it end?"
我的朋友為其子女的光臨做著一些準備工作。這些工作當然包括要到銀行去一超。當她在出納員的窗外排隊等候時,她對她身後的一位中年男子說:“我的孩子們都20多歲了,可我仍然得給他們錢。這種事什麼時候才算完呢?”
"I'm not sure,"the man replied while glancing uncomfortably at a paper in his hand,"but I`m not the one to ask. I'm here to deposit a check my mother gave me."
“我可不知道。”那位男子邊回答邊不安地看著手裡拿著的那張紙。“我可不是你該問的人,我到這兒是來支取我媽媽給我的支票的。”
篇二
妻子的慾望
A woman and her husband were out shopping when she realized that she needed to purchase some hair color for her graying hair.
一位女士在與他的丈夫購物時,她意識到她該為她的灰白頭髮買些染髮水了。
"When are you going to stop buying that expensive stuff ,"complained the husband."and let your hair go gray like Barbara Bush?"
她丈夫抱怨說:“你什麼時候才能停止買那些昂貴的東西,而讓你的頭髮長成像芭芭拉.布什***總統夫人***的頭髮那樣灰白呢?”
"The day that you're inaugurated,"the wife replied.
“那就要等到你就職的那天了。”妻子說。
篇三
一物降一物”
"It's annoying when my dentist starts up a conversation while he's working on my teeth,"one guy said to another.
一個人對另一個人說:“當我的牙醫陪我看牙時,他總是跟我聊天。這真讓我心煩。”
"I know just what you mean,”replied his friend. "But my Uncle Edgar used to drive this dentist crazy.'
他的朋友回答說:“我明白你的意思,但我的叔叔艾德加就曾使這位牙醫不知所措。”
"How so?"
“怎麼會這樣呢?”
"He was a ventriloquist."
“他是個口技演員。”
篇四
狼的故事
After two sleepless nights in a noisy campground,my wife and I were dreading another evening of radios and singslongs. Then a middle-aged couple pulled into the space beside us. While the wife prepared dinner,her husband mounted two huge loud speakers on the roof of their camper. We crouched by our fire,waiting for the first blast of whatever these people considered music. To our surprise,the speakers remained silent,and just as the partiers were getting into full swing,our neighbors retired for the evening. We decided to do the same,although there seemed little chance of sleeping.
吵鬧的宿營地使我和我老婆兩個晚上都無法入睡。我們真擔心第三個晚上的收音機聲和唱歌聲。接著,一對中年夫婦又在我們的附近找到了塊兒地方呆了下來。女的做飯時,男的在他的帳頂上架起兩個擴音器。我們圍火而坐,等待著音樂一響出現的第一次喧鬧。出乎我們的意料,擴音器沒有任何聲響。正當參加舞會的人進入高潮時,我們的這兩位鄰居已開始休息了。雖然我們睡意還未到,我們還是決定睡覺。
As our tent was throbbing to a rock number,a low moan became audible,developing into an unmistakable wolf howl. It was soon joined by others in rising and falling harmonies. After reaching peak volume,the wild chorus faded quickly to utter silence. The campground was deathly quiet for what seemed like ages,and then a deep but pleasant voice said,"Relax,folks,it's just a recording. Good night."
我們的帳篷隨著搖滾樂在顫動,這時好像還伴隨著嗚咽聲,靳漸地這種叫聲已無疑地變成了兒狼嚎。這種狼嚎聲很快又摻進了其他的此起彼伏的和絃,一直到了極點。之後這種瘋狂的叫喊聲剎然而止,整個營地好像度過了幾個時代的死一般的寂靜後,一個深沉而又悅耳的聲音傳了出來:“各位,別緊張,這只是錄音,晚安。”
篇五
聰明的孩子
It was the first day of school and a new student,the son of a Japanese businessman,entered the fourth grade.The teacher greeted the class and said,“Let’begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me liberty,or give me death'?"
開學的頭一天,四年級來了一個新生。這是一個日本商人的兒子。老師跟全班打了招呼,並說:“我們先來複習一些美國的歷文。誰曾經說過‘要麼就讓我死,要麼就給我自由’?”
She saw only a sea of blank faces except for that of Toshiba,who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry,1775,"said the boy.“Now,”said the teacher,“Who said 'Government of the people,by the people,for the people shall not perish from the earth'?”
老師看到的好像是一片空白的臉,只有那位“東芝”舉了手回答說:“亨利·柏垂克,1775年。”
Again, no response except from Toshiba:”Abraharn Lincoln,1863. "
老師又說:“好,誰說過‘民有、民治、民享的政府不會從地球土消失’?”
The teacher snapped at the class,"You should be ashamed. Toshiba,who is new to our country,knows more about it than you do."
然而除了東芝以外全班仍沒有任何反應。
As she turned to write something on the blackboard,she heard a loud whisper:"Damned Japanese.”
“林肯, 1863年。”
"Who said that?"she demanded.
老師衝著全班打了一個響指說:“你們應感到害躁,這個新來我們國家的東芝比你們知道的都多。”
Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Jacocca,1982. "he said.
當老師在黑板上寫字時,聽到一聲咒罵:“該死的日本人!”
老師問:“誰說的?”