關於好玩的英語笑話大全

　　笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事型別,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。但長期以來它卻一直被學界視為不登大雅之堂的小眾。小編分享關於好玩的英語笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　關於好玩的英語笑話：Solving a dispute

　　Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It?s my nut!"The first squirrel said, "That?s not fair! I saw it first!""Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second.At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn?t quarrel. Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved."Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I?ll take the meat."

　　關於好玩的英語笑話：The bronze statues

　　A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.

　　"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."

　　"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take the rat."

　　The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt.

　　No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve city blocks long is behind him. Making amighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it. Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he watches inamazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.

　　Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.

　　"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the owner.

　　"No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze lawyer."

　　關於好玩的英語笑話：What and who am I?

　　A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at theintersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.

　　When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiseratingconcerning the problems of being blind.

　　The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.

　　The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!"

　　The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"

　　關於好玩的英語笑話：Get money to heaven

　　A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can?t take it with you."

　　After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillow cases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven.

　　Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer?s wife, up in the attic cleaning, came upon the two forgotten pillow cases stuffed with cash.

　　"Oh, that darned old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement."