關於搞笑的英語對話小短文

　　英語學習在我國已轟轟烈烈地開展了幾十年。英語學習書籍各種各樣。從小學,初中,高中到大學不斷貫徹英語教學,可以說英語學習已成為一個熱門話題。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：學會禮貌 To Be Polite

　　One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.

　　Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"

　　Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"

　　Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."

　　Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?"

　　一天，比爾和湯姆去餐館吃飯。當服務員端上兩份牛排時，比爾迅速地為自己拿了比較大的那塊。

　　湯姆對此很不開心：“你什麼時候能學會禮貌?”

　　比爾說：“如果讓你先拿，你會拿哪個?”

　　湯姆說：“當然是小的那個。”

　　比爾：“那你還抱怨什麼?小的那個不就是你想要的，不是嗎?”

　　：Early Shopper

　　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent***仁慈的*** mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.

　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

　　"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

　　"Before the store opened," countered***反擊，反對*** the prisoner.

　　：I'm the groom

　　A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say,..." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

　　：topless models

　　Justin Turner, representing Elite & Premier Ltd, outlining his client's case for an injunction said, "The agency represents many models who are household names such as Claudia Schiffer, Naomi Cambell and Linda Evangelista. I don't know if your Lordship is familiar with these models?"

　　"Do I need to be?"

　　replied the judge.

　　"I don't think so," said Mr. Turner, perhaps wisely. Mr Justice Harman was perplexed by the use of the word 'topless' in discussing glamour modelling.

　　"It means precisely the opposite," he was told. This misuse of the word is, the judge said, is "remarkable - as if they had been cut off at the waist which is exactly what they do not mean".

　　"If you cut the top off, it wouldn't be very interesting - what's more they would be dead. It's clearly an abuse of language by the tabloids," he said. Peter Victor, The Independent, Friday Nov 15th 1996

　　：bad advice

　　Walking past the Royal Courts of Justice one day, a man spotted a friend of his sitting on the steps outside, sobbing loudly with his head buried in his hands.

　　"What's the matter?"

　　he asked of his friend, "did your lawyer give you bad advice ..?"

　　"No - it's worse than that," replied the friend between sobs, " he sold it to me..."