小學生英語笑話小短文大全

　　作為人類所特有的天賦，幽默被認為是日常會話中一種最寶貴的語言形式。長期以來，幽默因其在人際交往中的神奇效果，已經成為研究者們普遍關心的話題。小編精心收集了小學生英語笑話小短文，供大家欣賞學習!

　　小學生英語笑話小短文：Good News and Bad News 好訊息和壞訊息

　　The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired. One day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?"

　　"The good news!" they all shouted.

　　"OK," said the General. "The good news is that you will each be receiving a complete change of clothing."

　　"Hurrah!" chorused the soldiers.

　　"And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert ....

　　士兵們連續的行軍，作戰，他們又累又熱又髒。一天，將軍宣佈：“士兵們，我有一些好訊息和壞訊息要告訴你們。你們願意先聽哪個呢?”

　　“好訊息!”他們嚷道。

　　“好吧，”將軍說，“好訊息就是你們每個人都可以徹底的換一身衣服。”

　　“烏拉!”士兵們高興地大叫起來。

　　“現在呢，該是壞訊息了。傑克，你將和約翰換衣服，約翰，你和湯姆換，湯姆，你和羅伯特換，羅伯特……”

　　小學生英語笑話小短文：I've been trying to do that for years

　　A man went to the police office wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

　　"You will get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.

　　"No, no, no." said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years."

　　一個人來到警察局想和昨天潛入他家偷盜的賊聊聊，警察告訴他說，“你在法庭上會有這個機會的。”

　　“不，不，不”，這個人說，“我就是想知道他是如何做到潛入我家並且還能不驚醒我的老婆，我已經努力好多年了都沒能做到這點。”

　　小學生英語笑話小短文：Repetition Has Many Applications 學以致用

　　In a sales company, the boss said to one of his employees,

　　"The main thing to remember is repetition, repetition, repetition! That's the key! If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every way possible. Repeat it; cram it down people's throats. Even make yourself sickening and repulsive if you have to, but don't everforget to repeat, repeat, repeat. It's the only way to get results and sell our products!"

　　So, the employee said, "Yes, sir!"

　　Then the boss said, "Now, what was it you came to see me about?"

　　And the employee replied, "Well, sir, it's about a raise, a raise, a raise!"

　　銷售公司的老闆對一位員工訓話：

　　“重要的是要記得重複、重複、重複!‘不斷重複’是重要關鍵!推銷產品時，要用盡各種方法對客戶不斷反覆地遊說，對他們進行疲勞轟炸。情況需

　　要的話，即使讓對方對你厭惡、反感也在所不惜。就是不要忘記‘重複再重複!’這是得到業績、銷售產品的不二法門!”

　　員工回答：“老闆，瞭解了!”

　　老闆又說：“好，現在說說看你們來找我有什麼事?”

　　員工回答：“老闆，我要加薪!加薪!加薪!”

　　小學生英語笑話小短文：Early Big Shopping 提早大搶購

　　An offender was brought to trial before a judge. The judge asked him, "What is the crime you have committed?"

　　The offender said, "I went shopping too early during the New Year."

　　The judge said, "This is not a crime! Is there a mistake, perhaps? So how early did you go shopping?"

　　He answered, "The shop was not yet open for business, and I was already inside."

　　有個犯人被帶到法官面前審案，法官問他：“你犯了什麼罪?”

　　犯人說：“因為我在新年時，太早去採購了。”

　　法官說：“這不是罪呀!可能是弄錯吧?那你多早去採購呢?”

　　他說：“商店還沒開門，我就已經進去了。”

　　小學生英語笑話小短文：The Value of a Good Question 律師的諮詢費

　　A man called a lawyer and asked, “How much would you charge me to answer three questions?” The lawyer said, “$400 dollars!”

　　And the man said, “That’s a lot of money, isn’t it?”

　　The lawyer said, “I guess so. What’s your third question?”

　　有個人打電話給律師，問道：“你回答三個問題的收費是多少錢?」律師回答說：「四百美元。”

　　這個人說：“這要不少錢，不是嗎?”

　　律師回答說：“我想是吧!你的第三個問題是什麼?”