中英文雙語笑話小短文

　　笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：Response Ability

　　An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."

　　Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."

　　A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"

　　The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."

　　答問技巧

　　衣阿華州奧格根的一位牧師正在與一位教友為一杯咖啡而猜硬幣。別人問他那是否構成賭博行為時，牧師答道：“這僅僅是決定由誰來做一件善事的一種科學方法。”

　　當我人問哲學家羅素是否願意為了他的信仰而獻身時，他答道：“當然不會。畢竟，我可能會是錯的。”

　　一份報紙組織了一場競賽，為下面的問題徵集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將救出哪一幅?”

　　獲獎的答案是：“最接近門口的那一幅。”

　　：Raccoons

　　Part of my job at the state fish and wildlife department is to lend equipment to residents for trapping and relocating raccoons. A man who had been successful at capturing one of the animals called to ask whether raccoons mated for life. He said his daughter was worried that they might have separated a monogamous couple.

　　"I don't know why she's so concerned," he added. "She's been married three times."

　　浣熊

　　我在州政府魚類和野生動物部門工作時，負責向居民們出借捕浣熊的裝備。一個人捕獲了一隻獵物，他打電話來詢問浣熊是否終生只有一個伴侶。他說他的女兒擔心他們可能拆散了一對終生伴侶。

　　“我不知道她為什麼這麼關心這事，”他補充說，“她自己已經結過三次婚了。”

　　：Secret For a Long Life

　　A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

　　"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?"

　　"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never,ever exercise."

　　"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?"

　　"Twenty-six."

　　長壽祕訣

　　一位女士走向坐在門廊的椅子上搖動的小老頭。

　　“我無意中發現，你是多麼幸福，”那女士說。“你幸福而長壽的祕密是什麼?”

　　“我每天抽三包煙，每週喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來不曾鍛鍊。”

　　“哦，真神奇，”女士說。“你高壽?”

　　“二十六。”

　　：Pig or Witch

　　A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH***女巫***!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.

　　豬還是女巫

　　一個男人在一條陡峭狹窄的山路上駕車，一個女人相向駕車而來。他們相遇時，那個女的從窗中伸出頭來叫到：“豬!!”那個男的立即從窗中伸出頭來回敬道：“女巫!!”他們繼續前行。這個男的在下一個路口轉彎時，撞上了路中間的一頭豬。要是這個男的能聽懂那個女人的意思就好了。

　　：控制女人的男人

　　Two Lines In Heaven Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven.God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines.One line for the men that dominated their women on earthand the other line for the men that were whipped by their women.Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."Said and done, and there are two lines. The line of the menthat were whipped was 100 miles long,and the line of men that dominated women, there was only one man.God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves.I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates.Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud.Learn from him! Tell them, my son,how did you manage to be the only one on that line?"The man said, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

　　世上的每一個人都上了天堂，神說 :" 要男人分成兩隊 , 一是在世上控制女人的男人 ,另一是被女人鞭打的男人 .另外女子自成一隊 , 跟著聖彼德去 ."隊伍列好後 , 一是被女人鞭打的 ,有 100 英里長 , 一是在世上控制女人的 ,僅有一人 .神生氣的說 :" 你們男人應該感到羞恥 ,我按照自己的形象創造了你們 ,而你們被女子鞭打 . 看看 , 我唯一的兒子 ,站著使我驕傲 . 你們應該向他學習 .告訴他們 , 兒子 ,你如何成為唯一站在這一隊上的 ?"這男子回說 :" 我不知道 , 我太太叫我站在這的 !"