高中生英語笑話小短文

　　笑話一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一種民間口頭創作形式,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：What Day

　　A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husbands constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of times that they will have to make love for the rest of their marriage.

　　While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, "Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the letter 'T', to minimise the frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding of you."

　　On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.

　　Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads, "Baby, I didn't' realise that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry.

　　I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page.

　　1. TUESDAY

　　2. THURSDAY

　　3. TODAY

　　4. TOMORROW

　　P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I am waiting for you upstairs."

　　：Redneck Holywater

　　A little country boy was sitting on the curb with a quart of turpentine and just shaking it all up; just watching all the bubbles.

　　A priest came along and asked the little boy what he was doing. The little boy replied "Well, I'm a just shakin' the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine."

　　The Priest said, "No, son, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water." If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby boy."

　　The little boy replied, "Shoot, that ain't nothin'. You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass, he'll pass a motorcycle."

　　：The Football-Playing Turkey

　　The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

　　Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through thedefensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

　　"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

　　：Parrrot Boy & Daddy

　　There was this punk who got on a bus. He sat next to an old man who started staring at him, because he was dressed in really colorful clothing. He had all this colorful make-up on, and his hair was spiked up with red,green,& yellow with feathers. The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin'at,eh? Didn't you do anything strange when you were a teenager?" "Well, yeah," the old man answered. "Once I got so drunk that I screwed a parrot, so I can't help but think that maybe you're my son.

　　：Rednecks Flying Home

　　Two Redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. They were quite successful in their venture, and bagged six big bulls. The pilot came back as arranged to pick them up.

　　They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected he said, "The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind."

　　One of the hunters pushed forward, "Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, same weather conditions, and everything. What's with this? We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.

　　Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. They crashed in the wilderness.

　　Climbing out of the wreckage, one Redneck said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"

　　"I think so," replied the other Redneck. "Yep! I think this is about 100 yards further along than where we crashed last year!"