爆笑英語經典笑話

  笑話能反映出一個民族的價值系統及其對周圍世界肯定和否定的態度。小編精心收集了爆笑經典英語笑話,供大家欣賞學習!

  爆笑經典英語笑話篇1

  Directly from America

  Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bankcounter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

  At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

  【中文譯文】

  它們是從美國直接帶來的

  一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久,到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行櫃檯,銀行職員認真檢查了每一張鈔票,看是否有假。

  這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩,最後實在忍耐不住說:“相信我,先生,也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元,它們是從美國直接帶來的。”

  爆笑經典英語笑話篇2

  He Is Really Somebody

  -- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

  -- He is really somebody. What does he do?

  -- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

  【中文譯文】

  他真是一個大人物

  -- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。

  -- 他真是一個大人物。幹什麼的?

  -- 墓地守墓人。

  爆笑經典英語笑話篇3

  What Were You Smuggling

  The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. Whenthe guard looked in the truck, he found six big sacks. "What's inside?" he asked. "Dirt," thedriver replied. "Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them." Each one of themcontained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

  A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck. "What's in thebags this time?" he asked. "Dirt, more dirt." said the man. Not believing him, the guard checkedthe sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

  The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to theguard that he quitted and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellowhappened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal,drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you weresmuggling all that time." Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear andwhispered, "Cars."

  【中文譯文】

  意想不到的走私物品 一個形跡可疑的人開車來到邊境,哨兵迎了上去。哨兵發現了幾個大口袋。 “裡面裝的是什麼?”他問道。 “土。”司機回答。 “把袋子拿出來”,哨兵命令道:“我要檢查。” 確實,口袋裡除了土以外,別無他物。哨兵很不情願地讓他通過了。 一週後,那人又來了,哨兵再次檢查汽車上的行李箱。 “這次袋子裡裝的是什麼?”他問道。 “土,又運了一些土。”那人回答。 哨兵不相信,對那些袋子又進行了檢查,結果發現,除了土以外,仍舊一無所獲。

  同樣的事情每隔一週發生一次,一共持續了六個月。最後,哨兵被弄得灰心喪氣,乾脆辭職去當了酒吧侍者。 有天夜裡,那個形跡可疑的人碰巧途經酒吧,下車喝酒。那位從前的哨兵急忙迎上前去對他說,“老兄,你要是能幫我一個忙,今晚的酒就歸我請客。你能不能告訴我,那段時間你到底在走私什麼東西?” 那人俯身過來,湊近侍者的耳朵,裂開嘴笑嘻嘻地說:“汽車。”