爆笑英語經典笑話閱讀

　　笑話大多揭示生活中乖謬的現象,具有諷刺性和娛樂性。幾乎所有笑話都包含兩個要點:一是笑話開頭,二是笑點。小編精心收集了爆笑英語經典笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　爆笑英語經典笑話篇1

　　Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

　　Tom: I don't know, father.

　　Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

　　Tom: Our teacher, father.

　　父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現在我想問你個問題。你們班上誰最懶?

　　湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。

　　父親：啊，不對，你知道!想想看，當別的孩子們都在做作業、寫字時，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課?

　　湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。

　　爆笑英語經典笑話篇2

　　An old couple went into a restaurant and ordered something to eat: one Coca Cola and one portion of French fries. The old man sat down and the woman, his wife, sat opposite him, and he began to divide the Coca Cola into two glasses, half for him and half for his wife.

　　He divided all the French fries half-and-half. He gave half to his wife and kept half for himself. Then he began to eat and drink,and the woman just drank but didn't eat.

　　There was a young man who was standing next to the table and wondering why the old man had divided everything in half, and he thought that maybe they didn't have any money. He said to the old couple, "Okay, I can buy you one more portion; you don't have to share like that."

　　So the old man explained, "No, no, no, we have been married for forty years and we always share everything. Whatever we have, we share half and half. Don't worry, but thank you, anyhow."

　　But then after a while, he saw that the woman wasn't eating eat, and only the man ate, and he asked, "Why aren't you eating?" And the wife said, "Today it's his turn to use the teeth."

　　有一對老夫婦到速食店去，叫了一罐可樂和一份薯條。然後他們面對面坐下來，那位老先生先把可樂分成兩杯，一杯給他自己，另一杯給他太太。

　　接著他又將薯條分成兩份，一份給他太太、一份給自己。然後他開始吃薯條、喝可樂，但是他的太太只是喝可樂，不吃薯條。

　　一個年輕人剛好站在旁邊，看到老先生把每樣食物都分成兩半，覺得很奇怪，他想或許他們沒有錢，便跟老夫婦說：‘我可以再買一份給你們，你們就不用這樣分了。’

　　老先生解釋說：‘不、不!我們結婚四十年了，一直都是分享每件事物，什麼東西都是一個人分一半。不用擔心我們，不過還是謝謝你的好意。’

　　過了一會兒，他看只有老先生吃著薯條，老太太沒吃，便問老太太：‘你為什麼都不吃呢?’老太太說：‘今天輪到他用牙齒。’