英語經典笑話帶翻譯你一定會喜歡

　　笑話是一種藝術方法，用這種方法造成以笑為藝術手段的文學藝術作品。幽默寓於笑話之中，它是笑話的精料，智慧之所在。下面是小編整理的英語經典笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語經典笑話篇一：媽媽在砸瓶子

　　A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. The child said, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."

　　一個婦人正在使勁開啟番茄醬的瓶子。這時，電話鈴響了，她叫四歲的女兒去接電話。小孩說：“媽媽現在不能接電話，她在砸瓶子。”

　　英語經典笑話篇二：The Nice Wedding Gift

　　We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: "Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.

　　我們參加了一個熟人的兒子的婚禮。由於我們都不認識那個年輕人和他的新娘，所以我們決定送給他們一個實用的全家禮----一個滅火器。很明顯，這對新人大批量製作了他們的感謝信，因為我們收到了一張卡片，上面寫著：“非常感謝您的漂亮的結婚禮物，我們期待著不久就用到它。”

　　英語經典笑話篇三：The Use of a Handsaw

　　At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse.

　　Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside.

　　Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, " I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please.

　　The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and commented, "And I see that. you, sir, have come for our T-bone special.

　　在集市上，我和妻子買了一些五金用品，包括一個手鋸。我們返回汽車時剛好路過一家牛排店。 “我們嚐嚐吧，”我妻子建議說。儘管我覺得拿著鋸有點傻乎乎的，但還是隨她走了進去。 我妻子掃視了一下選單對女招待說：“請給我來一份炒牛腰片。” 女招待轉向我，看我的鋸，說道：“我能看出，先生，你是來吃我們的T形骨特色菜的。”

　　英語經典笑話篇四：Psychiatrist 精神病醫生

　　Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!

　　傑瑞去看精神病醫生。“醫生，我有些不對勁。每次睡覺的時候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時間，”醫生說，“每週來三次，我會治好你。”“費用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會認真考慮的。”傑瑞答道。六個月後醫生和傑瑞在街上相遇了，“為什麼你再也沒來呢?”醫生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個酒吧服務生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎麼做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉。現在那沒人了!”

　　英語經典笑話篇五：兄弟倆的對話： Where is the father?

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　父親在哪兒?

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

　　“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

　　英語經典笑話篇六：我幹得怎麼樣 How did I do

　　A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.

　　The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner...NOW!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.

　　Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!"

　　一名新警察與老警察開著警車第一次出去巡邏。 他們得到命令去疏散一群閒逛的人，於是他們開車去了那條街，看到路口站著一群人。

　　新警察搖下窗戶：“大家注意了，快離開這裡。”人們他幾眼，沒理他。他喊起來：“離開這裡，馬上離開!”大家都不知道怎麼回事，但是在他的威脅下還是離開了。

　　新警察對他第一次執行公務的結果很滿意，對老警察說：“我幹得怎麼樣?”“你做得很好，”老警察笑著說，“尤其是在公共汽車站。”