幽默爆笑英語小故事五則

　　在繁忙的生活中，也要偶爾放鬆自己的心情。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　幽默爆笑英語小故事：幫倒忙

　　"I'll need to see your license and registration,"says the highway patrolman after stopping a middle-aged couple."You were speeding.”

　　高速公路上的警察攔住了一對中年夫婦，說:“我要看看你的駕駛證和車證，你超速了.”

　　"But，officer,"says the husband, "I was way under the speed limit.”

　　“可是，長官，我一直在限制以下的速度開車。”大夫說。

　　"Sir, you were doing 63 in a 55 Zone.”

　　“先生，你在限速55英里的地區開到了63英里。”

　　"I was not speeding!"insists the man. 'Your radar gun must be broken. "

　　“我沒有超速，”那個人堅特說:“你的雷達掃瞄一定有問題了。”

　　At this point, the wife leans over. "It''s no use arguing with him, officer,"she says apologetically."He always gets this stubborn when he's been drinking."

　　這時，他的老婆湊了上來:“警察先生，你不用跟他爭論了，”她帶著抱歉的口氣說:“每一次喝酒，他就變得這麼固執。”

　　幽默爆笑英語小故事：判斷失誤

　　The owner visits his factory and is shocked to see a man leaning against a wall，drinking coffee, "How much do you make?" he demands.“Eighty dollars a day,“is the reply.The owner hands him $80 and says，“Get out,and don't come back!"

　　工廠的老闆下廠來檢查，他看見一個人倚著喝咖啡，這使他感到很吃驚。“你一天掙多少錢?"老闆問。"80美元一天。”那人回答。老闆遞給他80美元說;“你走吧，不要再來上班了。”

　　Two minutes later the foreman comes in and asks,"Where's the delivery man who was just here?"

　　兩分鐘後，工頭進來問:“剛才在這兒的郵遞員哪兒去了?”

　　幽默爆笑英語小故事：大夫的許諾

　　A guy spots his doctor in the shopping center. He stops and says. "Two months ago when I was in your office， you told me to go home，get into bed and stay there until you called. But you never called. "I didn't?"the doctor says."Then what are you doing out of bed?"

　　一個人在購物中心看見了給他看病的大夫，他叫住了大夫說:“兩個月前，我到你辦會室去看病，你讓我回來躺在床上，等你的電話。但你從來就沒打過電話.”

　　大夫說:“我沒打過電話嗎?那你下床幹什麼呢?”

　　幽默爆笑英語小故事：健忘小姐

　　My friend Pam has a problem remembering numbers.After moving. she gave out her new phone listing. One.acquairitance tried to call hey but reached a travel agency. The agent said she'd received a lot of calls for Pam. The caller apologized and said she'd try to reach Pam at her office.

　　我的朋友潘，特別不善於記數字。她搬走後，把她的新電話號碼給了大家。一個熟人議圖給她打電話，結果卻打到了旅遊局.那裡的代理商說，他已替潘接了很多電話。打電話的人道了歉，並說她再往潘的辦公室打電話我她。

　　"If you do get hold of her，”the agent replied，"will you tell her that her order is in at Sears?"

　　“如果你能找到她的話，”代理商回答說:“你能告訴她嗎?她在希爾斯商店訂的貨已經到了。”

　　幽默爆笑英語小故事：精確的人

　　The expediter in the office where I worked would buy needed parts for equipment and make a list of the purchases.Then she would give the paperwork to oar boss—a known stickler for details—for his approval. Un April Fool's Day, the expediter and her co-worker turned in a list including a dress and matching shoes. Our boss took one look at this request for reimbursement and shouted for me to call these two people into his office immediately. Fearing that he wasn't going to take their joke well，they quietly went in to see him.”Look，you two，I' m a busy man !“he deadpanned."I need to know what color dress and what size shoes!”

　　在我辦公室工作的調配員每次需買裝置零件時，總要先列個清單，然後把它交給我們的老闆—一位很拘泥細節的人，去批准。在愚人節那天，調配員和她的同事遞上一張單子，單子上列了一件上衣和一雙跑鞋。我們的老闆看要錢的單子，然後朝我喊，讓我把她們倆馬上叫到辦奮室來。她們擔心老闆不欣賞她們所開的玩笑，所以進去後一句話也沒說。“瞧你們這倆人，我是個忙人，”老闆訓斥著:“單子上要把上衣的顏色和靯子的尺碼列清楚。”