幽默爆笑英語故事四則

　　在繁忙的生活中，也要偶爾放鬆自己的心情。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　幽默爆笑英語故事：除卡之外

　　After many years of wanting an automatic-teller card, I finally got one. The first time I used it was at a bank machine in a nearby college town. A student was there, when I arrived，and I asked him if he'd like to help me figure out the proper procedure.

　　多少年來我總盼望有張自動取款卡，現在我終於有了。記得第一次我在大學城附近的一個銀行自動提款機上使用我的卡時，我問站在旁邊的一個學生，是否能幫我使用這個機器的程式。“當然，”他回答。

　　"Sure，"he replied.

　　我向他解擇說我想存一筆錢。他打斷了我說:“我想我幫不了你了，我從未存過錢.”

　　I explained that I wanted to make a deposit. He cut me off and said, "I don't think I can help you. I've never made a deposit.”

　　幽默爆笑英語故事：分別對待

　　On a visit to the United States，Gorbachev met a Russian who had immigrated to this country. "What do you do for a living here?"the Soviet leader asked him.

　　在出訪美國期間，戈爾巴喬夫遇見了一位移居美國的俄國人。“你在這兒靠什麼謀生?”蘇聯的領導問他。

　　"My brother, my sister and I work in a big factory.”

　　“我哥、我妹和我在一個大工廠工作.”

　　"How do these capitalist bosses treat you?"

　　“那兒的資本家對你們怎樣?”

　　"Just fine，"answered the man.“In fact，if you are walking home from work, the boss picks you up in his big car and drives you to your door. Another time，he treats you to a dinner in an expensive restaurant. Sometimes he takes you home for the weekend and buys you presents.”

　　“還不錯，”那人回答，“事實上，如果你下班回家，老闆會讓你搭坐他的豪華車，把你送到家。有時侯，他還請你去豪華的飯店吃一頓。有時候，他邀你到他家去度週末，還送給你禮物。”

　　Gorbachev was stunned.”How often does this happen?"

　　戈爾巴喬夫很吃驚:“這種事多久有一回?”

　　"Well，to me，actually never. But to my sister，several times. "

　　“嗯，對我嘛，還沒有一次呢。但對我妹妹，已經有好幾次了。”

　　幽默爆笑英語故事：後知之明

　　Several years ago, the Connecticut state police were required to put chains on their tires after the first snowfall.One officer, failing to do so，found himself in a skid that flipped the car over onto its roof.

　　幾年前，康涅狄格州的警方對警察們有這樣一個要求——在下第一場雪後，把車胎上加上鐵鏈。有一個警官就沒這麼做，也巧他在一次車子打滑中翻了車，車底朝上。

　　A woman called the police station to report the accident. In reply to inquires on the officer's condition，she said，"Well，he seems okay, but you'd better get. someone out here real quick. He's standing on the car，putting chains on the tires !”

　　一位婦女給警方打電話報告了這個事玫。在問其該警官的處境時，她報告說:“他看上去沒事兒，不過，你們最好快點把他弄走，他正站在車底盤上給輪胎套鏈子呢!"

　　幽默爆笑英語故事：說實話

　　One Sunday morning a minister apologized to his congregation for the bandage on his face. "I was thinking about my sermon while shaving,”he explained，" and cut my face.”

　　一個星期天的早上，牧師向公眾道歉自己臉上的膠布，“刮臉的時候，我在考慮我的說教詞，”他解釋著，“所以就把臉劃破了。”

　　Afterward，in the collection plate，he found a note:"Next time，why not think about your face and cut the sermon. "

　　佈道之後，在捐款盤上，他發現一個紙條，上面寫著:“下次，為什麼不考慮一下你的臉，而把說教詞劃了呢?"