英語小笑話及中文翻譯

　　笑話是一種用來逗笑取樂的文體。笑話,不僅能讓同學們在日常生活和學習中不時地會心一笑,還能從中學習到不少的英語知識。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　Now, what I did to a guy I didn't like one night is a classic:

　　有一天晚上，我針對一個自己討厭的人所做的事情簡直是妙極了:

　　I saw him at a restaurant with his "other woman" seated in the corner of the restaurant trying to be inconspicuous. I went to the headwaiter and told him I wanted to send a cake over to my friend's table since he and his "wife" was celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary.

　　我看到他正和一個情人坐在飯館裡的一個不被人注意的角落裡。我走到領班跟前對他說:為了慶祝我的朋友和妻子結婚十週年，我想讓他給那兩個人的桌上送去一份蛋糕。

　　If you've ever been to a place like Bennigans where the waiters and waitresses come singing and banging pots when they deliver a cake to your table, you can imagine what happened next.

　　在像柏裡甘思這樣的地方，當男女服務員給你的桌子上送蛋糕時他們介一邊唱歌一邊敲打著水壺。你可以想象接下來會發生什麼。

　　Four waiters and three waitresses carrying a cake with a sparkler marched over to their table singing" Happy Anniversary, Carole and Mark…Happy… Happy…Happy… Anniversary.

　　四個男服務員和三個女服務員手裡端著插有蠟燭的蛋糕，一邊走一邊唱“凱茹樂，馬克，祝你們週年快樂。”

　　Talk about someone looking for the exits!

　　現在正有人忙著找出去的門呢!

　　篇2

　　In response to the request for "kids growing up" stories, here's one told to me many years ago by some friends about their five一year一old daughter Laura. The mother calls it "The Kevin Incident.” The father just says, "Like mother, like daughter.”

　　我想講一個關於孩子成長的故事，這是很多年以前我的一個朋友告訴我的關於她五歲女兒勞拉的故事。這個母親稱之為“凱文事件”，而父親卻說“有其母必有其女”。

　　It seems that Laura came home from Nursery School one day and announced that Kevin had pee一peed in the yard. Since Laura was one of the older children in the Nursery School group, her parents wanted to impress on her that she should try to help the younger children learn right from wrong, so they said, "Well，Laura honey, how big is Kevin?" Whereupon Laura held her two index fingers an inch or so apart and said, "Oh, about this big.”

　　一天，勞拉從幼兒園回到家，她告訴父母說凱文正在院子裡小便。因為勞拉在幼兒園的孩子裡算是姐姐，她的父母想要給她樹立一種觀念，那就是她應當幫助年紀比她小的孩子知道什麼是對，什麼是錯。所以他們問道:“勞拉，親愛的，凱文多大?”於是勞拉伸出兩個食指，中間距離大約一英寸左右，然後說:“嗯，有這麼大吧。”

　　篇3

　　A man is walking past a travel agents office when he notices a billboard announcing, "4 day cruise down the Murray River $40 all inclusive.”

　　一個男人路過旅行社時，看到一個廣告欄上面寫著“順著墨累河漂流四天，全部費用只需40美元”。

　　Impressed by the low price, he races into the shop, slaps $40 onto the counter and announces, "I' m here for the Murray cruise.” Quick as a wink, the travel agent whips out a baseball bat and knocks him unconscious.

　　面對如此低價的誘惑，他大步走進旅行社把40美元往桌上一拍，然後說:“我報名墨累河之遊。”眨眼間，旅行社的店員抽出一根棒球棍，一下就把那個人打昏了。

　　When the man wakes, he finds himself tied to a floating log and drifting down the river. After a time, he notices another man in same predicament on the other side of the river.

　　當那個人醒來之後，發現自己被捆在一個木筏上，正沿著河水往下漂呢。過了一會兒在河的另一邊，他看到一個和他處境一樣的人。

　　"$40 Murray cruise?" he calls out.

　　"40美元墨累河之遊?”他喊到。

　　"Yep!" says the man on the other side.

　　“是呀!”那人答道。

　　"I'll bet you we don't even get breakfast,”he yells.

　　“我打賭我們還沒吃早飯呢。”他喊道。

　　"Well，”calls the other man, “we did last year.”

　　“對，”另一個人說，“我們去年吃過了。”