關於搞笑的英語小短文

　　近年來，隨著小學英語教學日益為國家和全社會所重視，在許多地方的小學英語已經成為了一門必修課。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：Big Man in a Small Town

　　Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first. One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk to his office. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. Hemotioned the man in, all the while saying, "No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than $1 million. Yes. The appeals court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument, and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay. Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details."

　　This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes. All the while, the man sat patiently as Joerattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man.

　　"I'm sorry for the delay," he said, "but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"

　　The man replied, "I'm from the phone company. I came to hook up your phone."

　　：Do yo know me?

　　A small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial -- a grandmotherly, elderly woman.

　　He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

　　She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you will never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

　　The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

　　She replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy,bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

　　At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench.

　　In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

　　：Strange

　　A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."

　　The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers-by would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."

　　"That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark, 'That's Strange.'"