長篇英文笑話帶翻譯閱讀

　　笑話作為一種城市化的民間口頭創作體裁,是一種重要的交際手段。小編精心收集了長篇英文笑話帶翻譯，供大家欣賞學習!

　　長篇英文笑話帶翻譯篇1

　　誰想去天堂

　　The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.

　　As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."

　　Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit , "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

　　牧師非常生氣，因為總有一個人在他說教時打瞌睡。

　　一個星期天，正當坐在前排的那個人又在瞌睡時，牧師決定要好好教育他一下，讓他不要再在佈道時睡覺。於是他低聲對信徒們說：“想去天堂的人，都請站起來吧。”所有的人都站了起來——當然，除了那個打瞌睡的人。在低聲說過請坐後，牧師高聲喊道：“想去下地獄的人請站起來!”

　　打瞌睡的人被這突然的喊叫聲驚醒了，他站了起來。看到牧師高站在教壇上，正生氣的看著他。這個人說道：“噢，先生，我不知道我們在選什麼，但看上去只有你和我是候選人。”

　　長篇英文笑話帶翻譯篇2

　　My Husband Will Be Home Soon

　　A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.

　　"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

　　James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"

　　"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a *y little voice...

　　"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"

　　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

　　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"

　　我丈夫馬上就要回來了

　　一個已婚男人去拜訪他的“女朋友”時，女朋友要求他剃去鬍鬚。

　　“噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的鬍子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。”

　　詹姆斯回答說，“我的妻子喜歡我的鬍子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會殺了我的。”

　　“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說道。

　　“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜歡這鬍子。”

　　在女朋友再三請求下，他終於屈服同意了。夜裡，在妻子熟睡時，詹姆斯爬上了床。

　　妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說道，“噢，邁克爾，你不應該在這裡，我的丈夫很快就要回來了。”

　　長篇英文笑話帶翻譯篇3

　　He's shaving you

　　Stopping in an unfamiliar barber shop for a shave, a young playboy took a fancy to the manicure gril and suggested dinner and a show that evening.

　　the girl demurred," I don't think I ought to, I'm married."

　　"Why don't you ask your husband," the playboy suggested." I'm sure he wouldn't object."

　　"You can ask him yourself ," the girl srugged." He's shaving you."

　　一位年輕的花花公子在一家不熟悉的理髮店裡刮鬍須，他很喜歡修指甲的女郎，於是提議哪天晚上去吃晚餐和看錶演。

　　女郎猶豫著說：“我覺得我不應該去，我結過婚了。”

　　“你何不問問你先生，”花花公子建議說：“我確定他不會反對的。”

　　“你可以自己問他，”女郎聳聳肩道，“他正在替你刮鬍須。”