關於短篇英文笑話帶翻譯

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。它與傳統的笑話不同，有其獨特的產生和理解方式。小編分享，希望可以幫助大家!

　　：The poor husband

　　"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complainedto his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that sheexplained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

　　可憐的丈夫

　　“你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多麼的難，”一個男人對他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個問題，然後自己回答了，過後又花半個小時跟我解釋為什麼我的答案是錯的。”

　　：I WANT A NIGHTMARE

　　Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I' passed today's exam." "Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied. "Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects n my dream tonight," Tom said.

　　想做壞夢

　　在期末考試之前，湯姆告訴他的母親："媽媽，我昨天晚上做了一個夢，夢見我通過了今天的考試。""不要相信夢，親愛的。據說夢中的經歷通常與現實相反。"媽媽答道。"那麼，我真希望在今晚的夢中，我的其他功課都不及格。"湯姆說。

　　：TOM'S EXCUSE

　　Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

　　Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".

　　湯姆的藉口

　　老師：湯姆，您為什麼每天上學遲到?

　　湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。"

　　：I CAN GO HOME.

　　One day after school the teacher said to his students, "Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go home

　　earlier." The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, "Who did it? Please stand up!" "It's me," said Bob, "Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir."

　　我可以回家了

　　一天，放學以後，老師對他的學生們說："明天上午，如果你們當中的任何一個同學能首先回答我的問題，我就准許他或她最先回家。"第二天，老師走進教室時發現黑板被塗得亂七八糟，他非常生氣的問："誰塗的?請站起來!"鮑勃說："先生，是我，現在我可以回家了，再見!"

　　：MONEY AND FRIENDS

　　A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?

　　B: Friends, of course.

　　A: Why?

　　B: I can always borrow money from friends.

　　錢和朋友

　　甲：你認為錢和朋友哪一個更重要?

　　乙：當然是朋友。

　　甲：為什麼?

　　乙：我總可以從朋友那兒借到錢。

　　：DON'T BE SELFISH

　　A mother is admonishing her son.

　　----Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you.

　　----But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.

　　別太自私

　　一位母親在勸告她的兒子。

　　"聽著，約翰，別太自私，讓你的弟弟和你共用一輛自行車。" "媽媽，我是讓他。我先騎下坡，他再騎上坡。"

　　：SHE'D RATHER BUY A GIFT

　　While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday. "That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey." Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift."

　　她寧願買一件禮物

　　旅途中，媽媽想起她忘記給爸爸買一件生日禮物。"沒關係，"他說，"我最想要的東西是你的愛、忠貞和溫順。"媽媽沉思片刻後回答說，"我寧願給你買一件禮物。"