英語搞笑笑話10篇_幽默笑話帶翻譯閱讀

　　多閱讀一些有趣的英語笑話，能激起我們閱讀英語的興趣，從而提高英語的閱讀能力，今天小編在這裡為大家分享英語搞笑笑話10篇，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　英語搞笑笑話篇一

　　An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement. A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor.How are you? “Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me.I've been limping for the last half hour.”

　　有一天，人們看見一個有名的心不在焉的老師在路上走，他的一隻腳一直踏在街溝裡，另一隻腳踩在人行道上。一個碰見他的學生說： “晚安，老師。您怎麼了?” “啊，”這位老師回答說：“我想我離開家的時候還挺好的，可是現在我不知道出了什麼毛病。我已經一瘸一拐走了半個小時了。”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇二

　　It's His FaultBilly and Bobby were small boys.They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other. Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I'm going to cook our lunch now.Go out and play in the garden—and be good.” “Yes，Mummy，” the two boys answered，and they went out. They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen.“Mummy，” he said，“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs.Allen's house.” Mrs.Allen was one of their neighbors. “He's a bad boy，”his mother said.“How did he break it?” “I threw a stone at him，” Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down.”

　　比利和波比都是小男孩。他們是兄弟，兩人經常打架。上個星期六，他們的媽媽對他們說：“我現在要做午飯了。去，到花園去玩吧，別淘氣。” “是，媽媽，”兩個男孩回答，然後他們就出去了。他們在花園裡玩了半個小時，然後比利跑進了廚房。“媽媽，”他說：“波比打碎了艾倫太太家的窗玻璃。”艾倫太太是他們的鄰居。 “他是個壞孩子，”他的媽媽說。“他是怎麼把玻璃打碎的?” “我朝他扔了一塊石子，”比利回答：“他趕緊蹲下。”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇三

　　Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft***閣樓*** and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

　　Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry***鐘樓*** and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated***熏製*** , and they still won’t go away.

　　The third said, I baptized***洗禮*** all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!

　　三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館裡吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什麼都不能把它們趕走。”

　　另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙燻消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”

　　第三個牧師說：“我為我那裡的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員......從此一隻也沒有再回來過。”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇四

　　The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Monsignor'."　　The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Excellency'."

　　"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello, Your Eminence'.

　　" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"

　　四位牧師的母親聚到一起談論她們的兒子。“我的兒子是個教士，”第一位母親自豪地說道，“他進入房間，人們都說，‘您好，閣下’。”

　　第二為母親說：“我的兒子是位主教。他進入房間，人們都稱，‘您好，大人’。” “我的兒子是位紅衣主教，”第三位母親接著說，“他走進房間，人們都說，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”

　　第四位母親略思片刻。“我的兒子身高六英尺十，體重三百磅，”她說，“他要是走入房間，人們都說‘哦，我的上帝’!”

　　英語搞笑笑話篇五

　　Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″. Quietly and withbecoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:

　　″I have known many an instance***例項*** of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″

　　一個星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那裡有他的幾封信。他開啟其中一封,發現信中只寫著“傻瓜”兩個字。

　　他平靜而認真地把這件事告訴教友們：“寫信時忘了簽名的人,我遇到過很多,但只簽了名卻忘了寫信的人,我還是頭一次遇到。”