關於短的英文笑話帶翻譯

　　近年來,冷笑話作為一種新興的語言現象在網路、雜誌上十分盛行。若要推論現行冷笑話的來源,或已無從考證。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：An Abstract Noun

　　Teacher: What's an abstract noun, Jane?

　　Jane: I don't know, madam.

　　Teacher: What, you don't know! Well. It's the name of a thing which you can think of but cannot touch. Now, give me an example.

　　Jane: A red-hot poker, madam.

　　抽象名詞

　　老師：簡，什麼是抽象名詞?

　　簡：我不知道，老師。

　　老師：什麼，你不知道!抽象名詞就是你想象得到但觸控不到的東西。現在，你給我舉個例子。

　　簡：老師，比如說一根炙熱的撥火棍。

　　：Gallant Effort

　　At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, "What a small appetite you have tonight, Mr. Jones."

　　"To sit next to you," he replied gallantly, "would cause any man to lose his appetite."

　　殷勤

　　在一次晚餐聚會上，一位靦腆的年青人一直在冥思苦想對女主人說一些好聽的話。機會總於來了，女主人轉向他說：“瓊斯先生，您今晚的飯量太小了。”

　　“坐在您身邊，”他殷勤的說道，“任何男人都會失去胃口的。”

　　：Where is the Winner

　　Customer: This lobster's only got one claw.

　　Waiter: I guess he's been in a fight, sir.

　　Customer: Well, bring me the winner.

　　勝者在哪裡?

　　顧客：這隻龍蝦只有一隻爪子。

　　侍者：我猜應該是在打架時弄丟的，先生。

　　顧客：那樣的話，請把那隻勝者請來吧。

　　：Brain Transplant

　　A wealthy man lay critically ill. "There's only one thing that will save you," his doctor said. " A brain transplant. it's experimental and very expensive."

　　"Money is no problem," the man said. "Can you get a brain for me ?"

　　"There are three available. The first was from a university professor, but it'll cost you $10,000."

　　"Don't worry, I can pay. What about the second?"

　　"It was from a rocket scientist. It'll cost you $100,000."

　　"I have the money. And I'd be a lot smarter too. But what about the third?"

　　"The third was from a government bureaucrat. It will set you back half a million dollars."

　　"Why so much for the bureaucrat's brain?" the patient asked.

　　"Never been used."

　　腦移植

　　醫生對他的一位病入膏肓的富翁病人說：“只有一個辦法可以救你，那就是腦移植。這種辦法是實驗性的而且非常貴。”

　　“錢沒有問題，”那個富翁說，“問題是，你能弄到大腦嗎?”

　　“有三種選擇。第一種是一名大學教授的，但要花1萬元。”

　　“不用擔心，我付得起。那麼第二種呢?”

　　“第二種是一名火箭科學家的，得花10萬元。”

　　“我有錢，那樣我還能更聰明。那麼第三種呢?”

　　“第三種是一名政府官僚的，得花50萬元。”

　　“為什麼政府官僚的腦子這麼貴?”病人問道。

　　“因為他的腦子從未用過。”

　　：Impudent Questions

　　A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic lady to a group of little East-Siders.

　　The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet lawn under a white-blooming cherry tree, said to her hostess:

　　"Does your husband drink?"

　　"Why-er-no, not to excess," was the astonished reply.

　　"How much does he make?"

　　"He doesn't work, " said the lady. "He is a capitalist."

　　"You keep out of debt, I hope?"

　　"Of course, child. What on earth do you mean by all these impudent questions?"

　　"Impudent?" said the little girl. "Why, Ma'am, Mother told me to be sure and behave like a lady, and when ladies call at our rooms they always question Mother like that."

　　無禮的問題

　　一個住在城東貧民區的小女孩獲得邀請，參加一位貴婦人為城東貧民區的孩子們舉行的花園晚會。

　　在一棵開滿了白色小花兒的櫻桃樹下，小女孩坐在柔軟的草地上，一邊品嚐著她的茶和梅子蛋糕，一邊對貴婦人說：“你的丈夫酗酒嗎?” “呃，呃，不，他喝得不多。”夫人一臉驚詫。

　　“他掙多少錢?”

　　“他不工作，”夫人回答說，“他是個資本家。”

　　“我希望你們沒有負債吧?”

　　“當然沒有，孩子。你問這麼些無禮的問題到底是想說什麼呢?”

　　“無禮?”小女孩說，“怎麼會呢，夫人?媽媽要我的舉止一定要象夫人們一樣，當她們到我們家做客的時候，她們總是那樣問我媽媽的。”