三年級英語小笑話

　　下面是小編整理的三年級英語小笑話，希望對大家有幫助。

　　：I am acting like a lady 我要表現得像一位女士

　　One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.

　　一天，一家百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給他的太太挑選一件女裝。但是，沒過多久，他就發現自己已被瘋狂的女人們撞得踉踉蹌蹌。

　　He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.

　　他竭力地忍耐著。後來，他低下頭，揮舞雙臂，擠過人群。

　　"You there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "Can't you act like a gentleman?"

　　“你幹嘛?”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現得像一位紳士嗎?”

　　"Listen," he said. "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."

　　“聽著，”他說。“我已經像紳士一樣表現了一個小時了。從現在起，我要表現得像一位女士。”

　　：Good Sight 好視力

　　Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?

　　Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.

　　律師：你說你離事故現場約有35英尺，你能看清多遠的東西?

　　證人：這麼說吧，早上起床後我看見太陽，別人告訴我這大約有9300萬英里遠。

　　：來信

　　Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″. Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:

　　″I have known many an instance***例項*** of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″

　　一個星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那裡有他的幾封信。他開啟其中一封,發現信中只寫著“傻瓜”兩個字。

　　他平靜而認真地把這件事告訴教友們：“寫信時忘了簽名的人,我遇到過很多,但只簽了名卻忘了寫信的人,我還是頭一次遇到。”

　　：

　　Customer: Waiter, I can't find any oysters in this oyster stew.

　　Waiter: Well, you wouldn't expect to find any angels in an angel food cake, would you?

　　顧客：服務員，我這個牡蠣燉菜裡怎麼沒有牡蠣?

　　服務員：是啊，你不會指望在天使蛋糕裡發現天使吧?

　　：玫瑰

　　On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.

　　Are these for your wife, sir? she asked.

　　Yes, I said.

　　For her birthday? she asked.

　　No, I replied.

　　For your anniversary?

　　No, I said again.

　　As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, I hope she forgives you.

　　一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些剛剪下來的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走進店裡，一個年輕的女售貨員跟我打了個招呼。

　　先生，這些是送給你妻子的嗎?她問道。

　　是的，我說。

　　她的生日?她問。

　　不是，我回答。

　　你們的結婚紀念日?

　　不是，我又答道。

　　當我將找回的錢裝進口袋，朝門口走去時，那年輕的女人衝我喊道：希望她能原諒你。

　　：Part-time Job業餘工作

　　When my son was a hign-school sophomore, he got a part-time job sacking groceries at a supermarket. He came home all smiles.

　　"How was your first day?" I asked.

　　"It was great, Dad," he replied. "I got to talk to some good-looking girls."

　　Since Stephen is not very talkative, I asked, "What did you say to them?"

　　"Do you prefer paper or plastic?"

　　我兒子在一所中學讀二年級時，在一家超級市場找到了一份包裝商品的業餘工作。他滿面笑容地回到了家。

　　“第一天感覺如何?”我問。

　　“好極了，爸爸。”他答道，“我跟許多漂亮的女孩子講了話。”

　　由於斯蒂芬不善言談，我問道：“你跟他們說了些什麼?”

　　“你是喜歡紙包裝還是塑料包裝?”

　　：Who Discovered Australia?誰發現了澳大利亞?

　　Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.

　　Johnny: It's there, sir.

　　Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?

　　Sammy: Johnny, sir.

　　老師：約翰尼，在地圖上給我找出澳大利亞在什麼地方。

　　約翰尼：先生，在這兒。

　　老師：對了。薩默，你來回答我是誰發現了澳大利亞?

　　薩默：先生，是約翰尼。

　　：小女孩的願望

　　On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

　　在觀看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上，幼兒園老師問學生的觀後感。班上最小的女孩說，她希望舞蹈演員可以長得更高一點兒，那麼他們就不用整天踮著腳尖了。

　　：狗也知道這個諺語嗎?

　　The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　一個小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

　　“沒有關係，”一位先生“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”

　　不是我的錯

　　：It's not my fault

　　Mother ***reprimanding訓斥，譴責 her small daughter***: You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

　　Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

　　不是我的錯