簡短英語笑話幽默故事

  網際網路不僅是我們生活中不可缺少的,而且也是我們工作學習之餘緩解壓力、舒緩情緒的重要渠道。正是由於我們有這樣的需要,網路笑話得以繁榮興盛。小編分享,希望可以幫助大家!

  :Charge for Bread and Butter

  Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.

  Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services."

  Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter."

  The $1.50 was returned without delay.

  麵包和黃油費

  幾年前,我當律師的爸爸帶我去紐約的一家高檔餐館。帳單上來時,上面有1.5美元的麵包和黃油費。爸爸付了帳,連同麵包和黃油的收費一齊付了。但是第二天,他給餐館寄了一封信,說那項收費是沒有道理的,隨信還寄上了一張500美元的法律服務機構的收費單。

  餐館馬上打來電話,問道:“這500美元的收費單是怎麼回事?我們從來沒有要什麼法律機構的服務。”

  爸爸答道,“我也從來沒有要什麼麵包和黃油。”

  那1.5美元立即就寄了回來。

  :Perseverance is a virtue

  Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on itsinefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

  When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is avirtue."

  獲取研究生學位多年以後,我回到位於賓翰頓的紐約州立大學當教員。一天,電梯裡很擁擠,有人抱怨電梯效率太低。我說自我在那裡當學生起,20年來電梯一直沒有換過。

  最後當電梯門開啟時,我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下,回過頭來我看到一位年長的修女正在朝我微笑。“你會拿到學位的,親愛的,”她低聲說道:“堅持不懈是一種美德。”

  :Plagiarism 抄襲

  A friend of mine who teachs European history at Washington University in St. Louis tell about the time he spotted a plagiarized***剽竊,抄襲*** term paper. He summoned***傳喚*** the student to his office. "This isn't your work." he said. "Someone typed it for you straight out of the encyclopedia.

  "You cann't prove that!" the student sputtered.

  My friend smiled and show him the paper. Circled in red was: "Also see article on communism."

  我有個朋友在聖路易斯的華盛頓大學教歐洲歷史,他說有一次他發現了一篇抄襲的學期論文。他把那個學生叫到了辦公室。“這不是你寫的,”他說,“有人幫你從百科全書上原封不動地列印了下來。”

  “你沒有證據。”那學生氣急敗壞地說。

  我朋友笑了,他把論文拿給他看。用紅筆圈出來的是:“也可參閱共產主義一文。”

  :Difference 區別

  "I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.

  "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down."

  “研究生班和本科生很容易就能區別開來,”在洛杉磯加利福利亞州立大學給我們研究生上工程學課的老師如此說。

  “我說‘下午好’,本科生們回答說‘下午好’。研究生們則把我說的話記在筆記本上。”

  :Big Head 大腦袋

  "All the kids make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother, "They say I have a big head."

  "Don't listen to them," his mother comforted him, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."

  "Where's the shopping bag?"

  "I haven't got one, use your hat."

  “所有的孩子都拿我開玩笑,”小男孩哭著跟媽媽說:“他們說我長了一個大腦袋。”

  “別聽他們的,”他媽媽安慰說:“你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了,別哭了,去商店買10磅土豆來。”

  “購物袋在哪?”

  “我沒有購物袋,就用你的帽子吧。”