兒童簡短英語笑話閱讀
前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!
篇一
Guns Buried in the Garden
An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.
He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!
At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.
埋在花園裡的槍
一個老人獨居在北愛爾蘭，他的獨生子正在坐牢。老人想在花園裡種些土豆，但不知道誰可以幫忙把泥土翻鬆。他寫信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說道：“看在上帝的面上，千萬不要翻鬆花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了。”
第二天凌晨4點，一隊英國士兵出現在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但並沒有找到任何槍支。”
老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問到底發生了什麼事情，下一步應該怎麼做。
兒子回信道：“你只管種土豆好了。”
篇二
Who was the first man
A teacher said to her class：
“Who was the first man?”
“George Washington，”a little boy shouted promptly.
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently.
“Because，”said the little boy，“he was first in war，first in peace，and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.
“Well，” said the teacher to him，“who do you think was the first man?”
“I don't know what his name was，”said the larger boy，“but I know it wasn't George Washington，ma’am，because the history book says George Washington married a widow，so，of course，there must have been a man ahead of him.”
誰是第一個男人
有個老師問班上的學生：
“誰是第一個男人?”
“喬治·華盛頓，”一個小男孩當即叫道。
“你怎麼知道喬治·華盛頓是第一個男人呢?”老師問道，寬容地微笑著。
小男孩說：“因為他是戰時第一，和時第一，國人心中第一。”
這時一個大點兒的男孩舉起手來。
“那麼，”老師對他說，“你認為誰是第一個男人呢?”
“我不知道他的名字，”大點兒的男孩說，“但我知道不是喬治·華盛頓，老師。因為歷史書上說，喬治·華盛頓娶了一個寡婦，所以在他前面肯定還有一個男人。”
篇三
The Nice Wedding Gift
We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher.Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.
漂亮的結婚禮物
我們參加了一個熟人的兒子的婚禮。由於我們都不認識那個年輕人和他的新娘，所以我們決定送給他們一個實用的全家禮----一個滅火器。很明顯，這對新人大批量製作了他們的感謝信，因為我們收到了一張卡片，上面寫著：“非常感謝您的漂亮的結婚禮物，我們期待著不久就用到它。”
篇四
The Advantage of Noise 噪音的優點
The Advantage of Noise
Wherever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour ,it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it. My first customer wanted to buy the car, and I battled with my conscience over whether or not to tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I did the right thing. Expecting him to drop the deal, I was surprised by his reply.
That's okay, he said. I'm buying this car for my daughter. If she complains about a vibration, I'll know she's driving too fast.
噪音的優點
每當我駕駛我那輛舊車時速超過55英里時，它就劇烈地震動起來，所以我決定賣掉它。我的第一位買主想買這輛車。圍繞是否告訴他這輛車的問題，我經歷了一番良心的較量。終於我做了件正確的事情。我想他會放棄這個交易，卻對他的回答吃了一驚。
“那沒什麼，”他說，“我是給我女兒買這車的。如果她抱怨震動的話，那我就知道她開得太快了。”
篇五
Be careful with what you wish for
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me.
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
慎重許願
一對結婚25週年的夫妻在慶祝他們六十歲的生日。他們恰好在同一天出生。
慶祝活動中，一位仙女出現了。她說，由於他們是已經結婚25年的恩愛夫妻，因此她給許給這對夫妻每個人一個願望。
妻子想周遊世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一聲，她的手中出現了一張票。
接下來該丈夫許願了。他猶豫片刻，害羞地說，“那我想要一位比我年輕30歲的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔術棒。“呯!”，他變成了90歲。