用英文講笑話帶中文翻譯
笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強,普遍存在於人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進身體健康。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!
篇一
平安夜禮拜
just as i began my christmas eve service, the electricity in the church failed. the ushers and i found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. then i reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "now, where was i?" a tired voice called out, "right near the end!"
就在我開始平安夜禱告時，教堂停電了。教堂裡的接待人員和我找到一些蠟燭，把它們放在禮堂周圍。然後我重返講道壇，整理了一下筆記後，我說：“剛才我講到哪兒了?”傳來一陣不耐煩的聲音：“馬上就講完了!”
篇二
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
一個女孩爬到聖誕老人的膝蓋上，聖誕老人例行公事的問：“今年聖誕節你想要什麼呢?”
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
孩子瞪大眼睛驚訝的望著聖誕老人一分鐘都沒講話，然後喘著氣說到：“你沒收到我的***嗎?***我想要什麼都寫上面了，萬能的聖誕老人咋能不知道捏***”
篇三
Entering Heaven 進天堂
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
三名男子都死於平安夜，而後分別在天堂之門被聖彼得召見。
"In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
聖彼得說：“因為這個神聖的節日，你們每個人都必須有象徵聖誕節的物品才能進入天堂”。
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle," he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates," Saint Peter said.
第一名男子從他得口袋裡掏出了個打火機，他打燃打火機說：“它代表蠟燭”。於是聖彼得就讓他進入了天堂。
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said, "You may pass through the pearly gates."
第二個男子從口袋裡掏出一串鑰匙，他把鑰匙在手裡搖了搖說：“它們是鈴鐺”聖誕老人也讓他上了天堂。
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's glasses.
第三個男子絕望的在口袋裡掏了半天，最後掏出了一副女人的眼鏡。
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"
聖彼得挑了挑眉，看向這個男的，說：“你倒是說說這玩意兒代表什麼?”
The man replied, "They're Carol's."
男士答到：“她們是卡羅爾的”***最後的carol's，我看了好久才發現s前有個'，我還說眼鏡跟聖誕頌歌有半毛錢關係?***
小編注：看懂了沒?carol's和carols同音，carol在這裡是一個女士的名字，carols是聖誕頌歌，所以第三個男的借用同音字說了個聖誕的象徵。
篇四
A Christmas Gift 聖誕禮物
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
聖誕節來了，一位先生給他太太送的聖誕禮物是一個非常漂亮的鑽石戒子。
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."
他朋友聽到他買這麼奢侈的禮物後，說到：“她不是想要輛四驅車嗎”。
"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"
先生答：“是啊，***可以買到假鑽石***，可去哪裡能買一輛假吉普車呢?”
篇五
saying a prayer for his christmas meal聖誕節晚宴上的餐前禱告
lee, a seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the christmas dinner. the family members bowed their heads in expectation. lee began his prayer, thanking god for his mommy, daddy, brothers, sister, grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. then he began to thank god for the food.
有個小男孩叫lee, 今年七歲，聖誕節晚餐開桌前，家人讓他做餐前禱告。家人都帶著期待的申請低頭看著他，lee開始做他得禱告，首先，他謝謝上帝賜予他爸爸媽媽，哥哥姐姐誒，奶奶還有他們家的所有叔叔嬸嬸。然後，他開始感謝上帝賜予他得聖誕節晚餐了。
he gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. after a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "if i thank god for the brussels sprouts, won't he know that i'm lying?"
他感謝上帝賜予他火雞，餡兒餅，聖誕布丁和紅莓醬。然後lee停下來了 ，大家等啊等啊。。。。lee沉默了很長時間，然後抬起頭看著他媽媽說：“媽媽，如果我感謝上帝賜予我甘藍菜，他會知道我在撒謊嗎?”
p.s:
國外很多小孩子都不喜歡吃甘藍菜，不知道為什麼，看《絕望主婦》裡面lynette家的雙胞胎就非常討厭吃甘藍菜，請了保姆後還拿這個來做實驗，看看她們家保姆有沒有魅力讓兩個小鬼頭把甘藍菜吃下去。