一年級能看懂的英語笑話

　　許多英語笑話都是通過人們口口相傳的方式得以流傳下來的。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：有頭有尾

　　Finish what you start

　　My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.

　　So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.

　　I feel better already.

　　：婚姻諮詢

　　Marital counseling

　　A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married.

　　She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

　　Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.

　　The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”

　　The husband thought for a moment and replied, “Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.”

　　：一個真正的男子漢

　　One real man

　　The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely.

　　Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.

　　It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.

　　Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.

　　：他曾發誓要死

　　He swore to die

　　"If you refuse to marry me", he swore, "I shall die."

　　She refused him.

　　Sixty years later, he died.

　　：一封神祕的信

　　A mysterious letter

　　“I don't like to inquire too curiously into your affairs,” said the lady to her husband, “But something's been bothering me for days."

　　"So?" said the husband, "Tell me all about it."

　　"You got a letter last Friday," the lady said. "It was perfumed. It was in a girl's handwriting. I saw you opened it, you broke into a sweat. You turned white. Your hands trembled...For goodness' sake, who was it from and what did it say?"

　　"Oh, that," said the husband. "I decided it was best for both of us not to talk about it at the time."

　　"For heaven's sake," screamed the woman. "Tell me who it was from and what it said!"

　　"Okay," said the husband. "It was from your dress shop. It said you owe them $740."