有關英語笑話短文帶翻譯

　　前蘇聯著名作家高爾基說過,“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：A Nail Or A Fly?

　　釘子還是蒼蠅?

　　An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of winein each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung themon, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor.

　　一位視力正在衰退的老紳士住進了一家旅館的客房。他雙手各拿一瓶酒。在牆上有隻蒼蠅，他誤以為是枚釘子。他把兩隻瓶子朝上一掛，瓶子掉下來摔碎了，酒灑了一地。

　　When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him anddecided to do him a favour.

　　一個女服務員發現發生的事情以後，對他深表同情，決定幫他個忙。

　　So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nailexactly where the fly had stayed.

　　於是，第二天早上他到樓頂花園散步時，她把一枚釘子釘在了蒼蠅停過的地方。

　　Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident.When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adnslapped it with all his strength.

　　這裡，老人回到了房裡。倒灑的酒味讓他想起了那件事。他抬頭往牆上一看，蒼蠅又停在了那兒!他輕手輕腳地走近，使盡全力拍了一掌。

　　On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor oldman was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!

　　聽到一聲大叫，好心的女服務員衝進房來。讓她大為吃驚的是，可憐的老頭正坐在地板上，牙關緊咬，右手滴血不止。

　　：snail and car

　　There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decidedto get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decidedthat the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer andsays he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S".The dealer asks, "Why'S'?"The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to knowwho's driving."Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to asnail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.The snail gets his new car andspent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And wheneveranyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"

　　曾經有隻蝸牛，它對自己動作慢的名聲感到了厭惡和疲倦。他決心去弄些跑得飛快的輪子來改變這種境況。逛了一圈之後，它決定買Datson 240-Z。他去了最近的Datsun經銷店，去買Datson 240-Z，但是它想把這輛車重新刷漆，改稱240-S。　　經銷商問：“為什麼是S呢?”　　蝸牛回答說：“‘s’代表蝸牛。我想讓每一個看見我呼嘯而過的人知道是誰在開車。”　　經銷商不想失去把汽車賣給蝸牛這樣一個機會，所以他同意收取些許費用，把車重新塗漆。　　蝸牛開著它的新車，把自己的餘生都用在了快樂地高速行使在告訴公路上。而不論何時任何人看見它飛馳而過的時候，都會說：“哦!看那S-car 。”

　　：死後重生Life After Death

　　Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

　　“你相信人死後仍有生命嗎?”老闆問他的一個員工。

　　"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.

　　“是的，先生。”這個新員工回答說。

　　"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterdayto go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.

　　“哦，那麼，這樣說來一切就很正常了，”老闆繼續說，“在你今早離開，去參加***葬禮，她來看你了。”