關於小學生英語笑話欣賞

　　笑話,顧名思義,是一種通過幽默的文字或圖示來達到令人會心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文學形式。小編精心收集了關於小學生英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　關於小學生英語笑話：Haircut

　　A priest goes into a barbershop, gets a haircut, thanks the barber and asks how much he owes him.The barber says, "Father, you're a holy man of the cloth, I couldn't charge you, it's on the house."The priest says, "Thank you, my son," and leaves.The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 silver coins. A few days later, a Sheik goes in for a trim, and when the time comes to pay the barber says,"No money, please. You're a spiritual leader, a man of the people, it's on the house."The Sheik says, "God bless you," and leaves.The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep are 12 gold coins. The following week a rabbi comes in, gets a haircut, goes to pay, and the barber says,"No, Rabbi, you are a learned man, a wise man, I can't take any money from you, go in peace."The next day, magically appearing on the doorstep of the barbershop are 12 Rabbis!

　　關於小學生英語笑話：Pa Won't Like It

　　A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."

　　"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

　　"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.

　　"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."

　　After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

　　"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

　　"Under the wagon."

　　關於小學生英語笑話：Bad Day

　　A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a suddengust of wind blew her over the railing.

　　"Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."

　　As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms. While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?" "No!" sheshrieked, aghast. So, he dropped her.

　　As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked. "Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself. He dropped her, too.

　　The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance.

　　As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic. "Slut!" he said, and dropped her.

　　關於小學生英語笑話：Animal Super Bowl

　　During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.

　　At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.

　　The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?"

　　"I did," said the centipede.

　　"Who stopped the rhino?"

　　"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.

　　"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"

　　"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.

　　"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.

　　"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."

　　關於小學生英語笑話： Food Quotes And Quips

　　Food quotes, quips, and thoughts . . .

　　"Artichokes ... are just plain annoying ... After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual 'food' out of eating an artichoke as you would rom licking thirty or forty postage stamps. Have the shrimp cocktail instead." -- Miss Piggy

　　"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." --Sam Levinson

　　"This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them." -- Gracie Allen

　　"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." -- Erma Bombeck

　　"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster." -- Joe E. Lewis

　　"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead." -- Woody Allen

　　"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." -- Fran Lebowitz

　　"Health food makes me sick." -- Calvin Trillin

　　"Watermelon -- it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face." -- Enrico Caruso

　　"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get." -- Robert Orben