大學好笑的英語笑話精選

　　笑話是內容豐富並具有出乎意料結尾的幽默口頭故事。笑話幾乎涵蓋人們生活的所有領域,其中包括政治笑話、經濟笑話、家庭生活笑話、關於民族性格的笑話等。小編精心收集了大學好笑的英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　大學好笑的英語笑話：Put your feet in 把腳放進去

　　The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle, and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary!" called the teacher sharply. "Yes, Madam?" questioned the pupil, "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"

　　一個女學生坐在座位上，嘴裡起勁地嚼著口香糖，腳卻伸到課桌間的走道里，被老師發現了。“瑪麗!”老師嚴厲地叫她。“什麼事，老師?”這女學生問。“把口香糖從嘴裡拿出來，把腳放進去。”

　　大學好笑的英語笑話：He's just been to the Zoo

　　When I was waitting in line at the bank , I noticed a woman holding a small child at one of the windows. The boy was eating a roll, which he thrust at the teller. The teller smiled and shook his head.

　　"No, no, dear," said the boy's mom, and then, turnning to the teller, "I beg your pardon, young man. Please forgive my son. He's just been to the zoo."

　　當我在銀行裡排隊時，發現一位婦女抱著一個小孩站在一個視窗。男孩正在吃一個麵包卷，並將麵包卷戳向出納員，出納員笑著搖了搖頭。

　　“別這樣，親愛的，” 男孩的媽媽說。然後她轉向出納員說，“對不起，小夥子。請原諒我的兒子，他剛去過動物園。”

　　大學好笑的英語笑話：我當時還不缺錢

　　Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.

　　"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."

　　"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"

　　"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."

　　一個看起來很難受的窮人走進大夫的診室。

　　“大夫!”他說，“幫幫我!一個月前我吞了一分硬幣!”

　　“天哪，”大夫說，“早幹嘛去了?你當時怎麼不來看?”

　　“實話告訴您吧，大夫，”窮人說，“我當時還不缺錢!”

　　大學好笑的英語笑話：I am his second wife 我就是他的第二太太

　　A rich man and his wife went into a shop to buy a bracelet. Neither of them was very young.

　　They looked at a lot of beautiful bracelets, and after half an hour there were two which they looked like very much, but they had not yet been able to choose between them. One of them was very expensive, and the other was quite a lot cheaper.

　　Of course, the shopkeeper wanted to sell them the more expensive one, because then he would get more money from them, so he said to the lady, "Oh, go on. Spend his money, if you don't he will only spend it on his second wife." For several seconds nobody said a word, and then the lady said angrily, "I am his second wife."

　　一位富人和妻子到一家商店買手鐲。兩人都老大不小了。

　　他們看了好多漂亮的手鐲，選了半個小時，其中有兩隻看起來相似。但在這兩隻當中，要哪一隻，英語小故事他們仍舉棋不定。一隻很貴，另一隻要便宜得多。

　　當然，店老闆想把貴的賣給他們，因為賣貴的可以從它們手裡賺更多的錢。於是，店老闆對那位太太說：“哦，就買這隻吧，他的錢你就花把。要是你不花，拿錢可能用在第二個太太身上了。”沉默了好幾秒鐘，這位太太面露不悅地說：“我就是他的第二個太太。”

　　大學好笑的英語笑話：The Horse can talk 馬會說話

　　man was reading a newspaper at a table, when his wife suddenly came to him and hit him on the back. The man was very surprised and asked: "Why do you hit me?"

　　The wife answered: "Who is Mary mentioned in the letter in your pocket?"

　　The man said: "It was the horse in the racecourse, which I chipped in two weeks ago."

　　Three days later, the man was sitting at the table, and this time his wife beat him angrily. The man asked: "What do you beat me for this time?"

　　The wife answered: "Your horse gave you a telephone call."

　　一個男人坐在桌邊看報紙，他妻子忽然走到身後，用拳頭狠狠地打他，男人摸著腦袋不解地問：“為什麼打我?”

　　妻子回答:”你的口袋裡那封信提到的瑪麗是誰?”

　　男人說：“是我兩星期前在馬場下注的那匹馬。”

　　三天後，男人又在桌邊，他妻子這次更氣憤地打他。男人問：“這次又為什麼?”

　　妻子回答：“你的馬打電話來了。”