初中英語幽默笑話

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

　　"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

　　"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

　　伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問，“發生了什麼事?”

　　“一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。

　　“再見到他你能認出來嗎?”媽媽問。

　　“他走到哪裡我都能認出他，”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜裡呢。”

　　2：

　　A father said to his sons: "Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie. Who is going to eat it?"

　　The oldest son replied: "Father, I’ll eat it all!"

　　The father then said: "Tomorrow Im going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?"

　　The same son answered: "Father,Ill eat it all!"

　　The father added: "Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?"

　　The oldest son answered again: "Its always me, always me. Now its someone elses turn to volunteer!"

　　一位父親對他的兒子們說：“你們的媽媽明天要烙一張餡餅，誰要吃呢?”

　　大兒子說：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”

　　父親接著說：“明天我要殺一口豬，誰要吃呢?”

　　又是大兒子說：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”

　　父親又說：“明天我們要耕地，誰想耕地呢?”

　　大兒子再次回答道：“總是我，總是我，這次還是讓其他人來做吧。”

　　3：

　　 are the birds doing in the tree?

　　 are sitting there.

　　grandson: But I can't see their chairs?

　　grandfather:Oh...

　　孫子：小鳥在樹上幹什麼呢?

　　爺爺：它們在那兒坐著呢。

　　孫子：但是我看不見它們的椅子啊?

　　爺爺：……

　　4：

　　Professor Laurie of Glasgow put his notice on his door: "Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today."

　　A student, after reading the notice, rubbed out the "c".

　　Later Professor Laurie came along, and entering into the spirit of the joke, rubbed out the "l".

　　格拉斯哥的勞裡教授在門上貼了這樣一個通知：“勞裡教授今天不見他的班級。”

　　一個學生讀了通知後，擦掉了字母“c”***lass：姑娘***。

　　後來勞裡教授來了，也想開開玩笑，他擦掉了字母“l”***ass：笨驢***。