簡短的英語幽默笑話

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"

　　After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.

　　“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.

　　But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”

　　丹在一個大城市的某個俱樂部當守門人。每天都有數千人經過他的門口，而且許多人都會停下來問他:“請問現在幾點?”

　　幾個月後，丹想:“我不想再回答這些蠢人提出的問題了，我要去買一隻大鐘，把它掛在這兒的牆上。”於是他買了一隻鍾，把它掛在了牆上。

　　“現在人們總不會再停下來問我時間了。”他高興地想。

　　可是打那以後，每天仍有許多人停下來，看看鐘，然後問丹:“這鐘準嗎?”

　　2：

　　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

　　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　他真是一個大人物

　　-- 我叔叔下面有1000個人。

　　-- 他真是一個大人物。幹什麼的?

　　-- 墓地守墓人。

　　3：

　　A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.

　　"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

　　James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"

　　"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

　　"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"

　　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

　　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!"

　　一個已婚男人去拜訪他的“女朋友”時，女朋友要求他剃去鬍鬚。

　　“噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的鬍子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。”

　　詹姆斯回答說，“我的妻子喜歡我的鬍子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會殺了我的。”

　　“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說道。

　　“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜歡這鬍子。”

　　在女朋友再三請求下，他終於屈服同意了。夜裡，在妻子熟睡時，詹姆斯爬上了床。

　　妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說道，“噢，邁克爾，你不應該在這裡，我的丈夫很快就要回來了。”