英語幽默笑話小短文帶翻譯

　　笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：Secret For a Long Life 長壽祕訣

　　A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch***門廊*** .

　　I couldn't help noticing how happy you look, she says. What's your secret for a long, happy life?

　　I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never,ever exercise.

　　Wow, that's amazing, says the woman. How old are you?

　　Twenty-six.

　　一位女士走向坐在門廊的椅子上搖動的小老頭。

　　我無意中發現，你是多麼幸福，那女士說。你幸福而長壽的祕密是什麼?

　　我每天抽三包煙，每週喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來不曾鍛鍊。

　　哦，真神奇，女士說。你高壽?

　　二十六。

　　：Grandpa will pay the bill 爺爺給我付賬

　　Walking up to a department store's fabric***織物，布*** counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

　　"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk***假笑，傻笑*** . "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

　　With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly***故意使人煩惱地*** held it out.

　　The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer***老傢伙*** standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

　　一個漂亮的女孩走到百貨公司的布料櫃檯，說：“我想要買這種料子來做一條新裙子，多少錢?”

　　“每碼只需要一個吻。”男售貨員說著，帶著奸笑的表情“很好，”女孩說，“我要十碼。”

　　帶著期待的表情，售貨員很快地量好了布料，包裹好，一臉奸笑地送了過來。

　　女孩很快收起了包裹，微笑著指向了一個站在她身邊的老頭：“爺爺給我付賬。”

　　：I know I could count on you 我知道你會幫我

　　Smith goes to see his boss in the front office. "Boss," he says: "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic***閣樓*** and the garage."

　　"We're short-handed, Smith." the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

　　"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I know I could count on you!"

　　史密斯去找他的老闆。“老闆，我們家明天有很重的工作要做，我妻子讓我修閣樓和車庫。”

　　“可我們很缺人，史密斯。”老闆答道，“我不可能放你的假。”

　　“謝謝，老闆。”史密斯說，“我就知道你會幫我。”

　　：Prepare Yourself 自己做好準備

　　A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom -flunked***不及格，失敗*** all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."

　　Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."

　　校園裡流傳著這樣的故事：一個學生一次給父母拍了一份電報，上面寫著：“媽媽，我所有功課都不及格，被學校開除。讓爸爸做好準備。”

　　兩天以後，他收到了回電：“爸爸已準備好。你自己做好準備吧!”

　　：More Intelligent in Dreams 夢中更聰明

　　When a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher. "I remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being I've forgotten it . What can that mean?"

　　"It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you are awake," the teacher explained.

　　一名學生在班上沒有做出老師的教學題，他感到很遺憾，對老師解釋說：“我記得昨天夜裡做夢對這道題解對了，但現在一時想不起來了。這說明什麼?”

　　“這說明你做夢的時候比你醒著的時候更聰明”。老師解釋說。