小學簡單英語幽默笑話

　　“哪裡有人,哪裡就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面小編為大家帶來，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　1：

　　A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry, honked his horn .

　　"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.

　　"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.

　　一位農夫和他的兒子乘坐輕便馬車來到一段窄路，他們遇到一個開車的人向相反的方向去。兩個方向的兩英里以內都沒有地方可以使他們相擦而過。駕車人甚是著急，按響了喇叭。 “如果你不後退，”農夫說著擼起了袖子，“我可不喜歡我將不得不做的事。”司機吃驚不小，掛上倒擋，向後退了兩英里，讓輕便馬車先過去。

　　“剛才在那兒你說過的你不喜歡要做的事是什麼?”農夫的兒子問道。

　　“退後兩英里，”農夫回答道。

　　2：

　　A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"

　　母親見三歲的兒子將一枚五分鎳幣放進嘴裡吞了下去，她立刻將他抱起，頭朝下不停地拍打他的後背，他咳出了兩枚一角的硬幣，她發狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父親喊道： “你兒子剛才吞下了一枚五分鎳幣，可咳出兩枚一角的硬幣!我該怎麼辦呢?”孩子他爸大聲回答道：“再喂他幾枚鎳幣!”

　　3：

　　A gentleman was invited for dinner. When he hurried there and sat down, he was happy to see a roast pig in front of his seat:"Not bad, I am next to the pig." But then he noticed the angry fat lady sitting next to him. He faked a smile and added: "Oh I am sorry, I meant the roasted one on the table."

　　一位先生去赴宴遲到了，匆忙入座後，發現自己的座位正對著乳豬，於是大為高興的說：“還不錯，我坐在乳豬的旁邊。”這時才發現身旁的一位胖女士正怒目相視，他忙陪笑改口到：“對不起，我說的是那隻烤好的。”

　　4：

　　One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

　　一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什麼意思?”“唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個警察呀!”