簡單的英語笑話短文

　　冷笑話的主要應用群體是熟悉網路的平民、青年、學生、白領等,他們具備熟練的網路技能、很強的接受新事物的能力以及開拓創新的精神。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　Could You Hurry It up a little?

　　你能不能快一點?

　　A man and his wife were cleaning out the attic when the husband found an ancient receipt.

　　一對夫婦正在清理閣樓，這時先生髮現一張過期很久的舊收據。

　　"Hey, Nancy, look at this.

　　“嘿，南茜，你過來看看這個。

　　It's a receipt for a pair of shoes I left to be repaired and never picked up.

　　這張是以前皮鞋送修的收據，我忘了去拿回來。

　　It's eleven years old."

　　足足有十一年之久了!”

　　"You know, that shoe repair shop is still there," replied the wife.

　　“那間鞋店不是還在那裡嗎?”妻子回答。

　　"Why don't you just drop in there and hand him the receipt as if it were nothing unusual."

　　“為什麼不跑一趟，把收據交給他，就當作沒事發生一樣?"

　　And that is what the husband did.

　　先生去了那家鞋店。

　　Quietly the cobbler went to the back of his shop and poked around a bit,came back to thecounter and said "They'll be ready next Tuesday. "

　　鞋匠靜靜地走到後頭，東翻西翻了一會兒之後，回到櫃檯說道：“下星期二才能修好!”

　　篇2

　　All's Well That Ends Well

　　結局好的就是好

　　Three rather deaf friends met on a street corner.

　　三個重聽很嚴重的朋友在街角碰面。

　　"Windy today, isn't it?" said the first.

　　“今天風好大，不是嗎?’第一個說。

　　"No, it's Thursday, " said the second.

　　“不，今天是禮拜四，”第二個說。

　　"Me too; let's go get a drink, " said the third.

　　“我也很渴，走，我們去喝杯飲料，”第三個說道。

　　篇3

　　Thanks a Lot Sarge

　　多謝了，班長

　　The sergeant had just completed the morning inspection of the troops.

　　一位班長剛完成部隊晨間檢查。

　　"Before I dismiss you, there's just one announcement. Private Kowalski, your mother is dead.Dismissed."

　　“解散之前，有件事要宣佈一下，二等兵卡瓦斯基，你母親已經過世了。解散!”

　　The soldier was devastated, of course, and the lieutenant was appalled at the sergeant'sheartlessness.

　　當然，那位士兵遭受很大的打擊，而排長也訝異於班長的冷酷無情。

　　"For Heaven' s sake, sergeant, next time you have to inform a trooper of a loved one' sdemise,please be a little more subtle," he said.

　　“看在老天的份分上，班長，下次你要告訴弟兄們有親人死亡時，請多用點技巧，委婉一些，”排長說道。

　　A few weeks later, sorry to say, the sergeant had another opportunity.

　　幾個禮拜之後，很不幸那位班長又有一次機會。

　　Lining up his troops, he ordered, "All of you whose mother is still alive, step forward. Not you,Johnson."

　　集合了部隊，他下口令道：“所有媽媽尚健在的，前進一步。你，約翰遜，除外。”