五句以上爆笑英語笑話帶翻譯

　　笑話是一種十分常見的語言現象，在日常生活中，它無處不在，起著十分重要的作用。作為一種獨特的娛樂方式，它能夠幫助人們減輕壓力、放鬆心情、緩解疲勞，有利於身體健康。小編整理了，歡迎閱讀!

　　：It was unnecessary 沒有必要

　　A man stopped at a place where a subscription***捐獻*** was being raised for the purpose of fencing the cemetery***墓地***. A lot of people had made a donation.

　　The man thought it was unnessary to do so. He said, "I have two reasons. In the first place, no one in the cemetery can get out; and in the second place, no one out want to get in."

　　有一個人在一個地方停了下來，看到那裡正在為墓地建造一道柵欄募集捐款。很多人捐了錢。

　　這個人認為沒有必要這樣做。他說：“我有兩個理由，首先，墓地裡的人沒有一個人能夠出來;其次，外面的人也沒有一個會想進去。”

　　：A Pretentious Scholar 自命不凡的學者

　　A pretentious***自命不凡的*** scholar was keen to show off. One day when he was being rowed across a stream, he asked the boatman: "Do you understand philosophy?"

　　"No, sir, " said the boatman. "Then, " said the scholar, "one-fourth of your life is gone." After a while he asked again, "Do you know geology?" "Nothing at all," said the boatman.

　　"Well, that makes one half of your life gone," said the scholar. Just then the boat suddenly tipped over. The boatman asked: "Can you swim?"

　　The scholor said, gasping for breath: "No." "Then your whole life is gone," said the boatman.

　　有個自命不凡的學者和喜歡賣弄。有一天他乘一隻小船過河去時，問船伕：“你懂哲學嗎?” 船伕說：“不懂哇，先生。”

　　學者就說：“那你的一生有四分之一算完了。”過了一會兒他又問：“你知道地質學嗎?” 船伕說：“一點也不懂。”學者就說：“那你的一生的已有一半算完了。”

　　就在這時，小船忽然翻了，船伕問學者：“你會游水嗎?”學者喘著氣說：“不會啊。”

　　船伕說：“那你的一生就全完啦。”

　　：An incompetent Lawyer 不稱職的律師

　　A lawyer was examining a suspect to check whether he was mentally ill. "Who was our first president?" asked the lawyer. The suspect answered, "Washington." "Right, And who was our second president?" said the lawyer. The suspect answered, "John Adams." "Correct". the lawyer said. Then the lawyer stopped and didn't ask again. His friend said in a whisper, "He's doing very well. Why don't you keep on?" The lawyer said: "Because I am not sure who was the third president myself."

　　一個律師在訊問一個嫌疑犯，看他是否有精神病。 律師問他：“我們的第一位總統是誰?”嫌疑犯回答說：“是華盛頓。” 律師說：“不錯。那第二位是誰呢?”嫌疑犯回答說：“約翰.亞當斯。”律師說：“對的。” 這時律師停下來，不再問了。英語小故事他的朋友小聲對他說：“這人回答得不錯嘛，你為什麼不繼續問呢?”律師說：“我自己也不能確定第三位總統是誰了。”

　　：The most wanted autograph 最想要的簽名

　　Our university newspaper runs a weekly question feature. Recently, the question was: "Whose autograph would you most want to have, and why?" As expected, most responses mentioned music or sports stars, or politicians. The best response came from a freshman, who said, "The person who signs my diploma."

　　我們大學的校報開辦了一個每週一問的專欄。上週的問題是：“你最想要什麼人的簽名?為什麼?”和預計的一樣，大部分的回答都是歌星、體育明星或者政治家。但是，最優秀的答案來自一個一年級新生，他說：“在我畢業證上簽字的那個人。”