簡短的英文笑話

　　笑話是文化的重要組成部分,通過笑話,我們可以瞭解一個國家的文化內涵。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎欣賞!

　　篇1

　　John had waited for months to get a divorce and now he was free from his domineering wife.

　　"Free at last!" he screamed, throwing his divorce papers into the air. "Now, I can eat when I want to, watch television when I want to."

　　Two months later John was found being escorted to jail by a police officer.

　　A shocked friend, on seeing poor John hand-cuffed, asked, "John, why are you under arrest? I thought your troubles were over when you divorced your wife."

　　"I couldn't pay my alimony," related John sadly.

　　"Why couldn't you pay your alimony?"

　　"My ex-wife has custody of the money and my business."

　　約翰等了好幾個月才離婚，現在他終於擺脫了他專橫的妻子。

　　“終於自由了。”他尖叫著，把離婚協議書拋到空中，“現在，我想吃就吃，想看電視就看電視。”

　　兩個月後，有人發現約翰被警官帶進了監獄。

　　一個朋友看見可憐的約翰戴著手銬，感到很震驚，問道：“約翰，你為什麼被捕了?我以為你和你妻子離婚了就沒什麼麻煩了。”

　　“我付不起我的贍養費。”約翰傷心地回答。

　　“你為什麼付不起你的贍養費呢?”

　　“我前妻掌握了我的財產和生意啊。”

　　篇2

　　Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States, was not very handsome, and he knew.

　　One day, Lincoln was walking in the street when he was stopped by an ugly man. The man had apistol in his hand. He aimed at Lincoln's nose. Lincoln was very surprised, but he pretended to be calm. He asked the man, "What do you want, sir?"

　　"I have promised myself," said the man, "If I find a man who is uglier than I, I'll kill him."

　　Lincoln looked at the man's face carefully and said eagerly. "Please take aim at me, sir. If I was uglier than you, I would not want to live."

　　美國總統亞伯拉罕·林肯長得不算英俊，這他自己也知道。

　　一天，林肯正在街上散步，這時他突然被一個醜人攔住了。那個人手中拿著槍，瞄準林肯的鼻子。林肯非常驚訝，但是他假裝鎮靜自若。他問那個人：“先生，你想幹什麼?”

　　“我答應過自己，”那個人說，“如果我找到一個比我更醜的人，我就斃了他。”

　　林肯仔細端詳那個人的臉，急切地說，“請瞄準我吧，如果我比你更醜，我也不想活了。”

　　篇3

　　Dear Susan:

　　Sweetie of my heart. I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement.

　　Simply devastated. Won't you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never meet another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so much.

　　Yours always and truly.

　　P.s: Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.

　　親愛的蘇姍：

　　我的小甜心。自從我解除與你的婚約後，我一直倍感孤獨淒涼，簡直心力交瘁。

　　請你考慮回到我的身邊好嗎?你在我心目中的地位是任何女人都無法代替的。我再也不會遇到像你這樣的女人了。我是多麼需要你呀。你能原諒我，讓我們重新開始嗎?我是多麼愛你啊。

　　始終屬於你，忠實於你的。

　　附註：恭喜你中了州彩票。

　　
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