簡單的英文笑話短文帶翻譯

　　笑話是民族文化及社會生活中不可缺少的一環,從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛。本文是，希望對大家有幫助!

　　：頭一例

　　Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word ″Fool″. Quietly and with becoming seriousness he announced to the congregation the fact in these words:

　　一個星期天,亨利·比切先生到普利茅斯的教堂去,在那裡有他的幾封信。他開啟其中一封,發現信中只寫著“傻瓜”兩個字。

　　″I have known many an instance***例項*** of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write the letter.″

　　他平靜而認真地把這件事告訴教友們：“寫信時忘了簽名的人,我遇到過很多,但只簽了名卻忘了寫信的人,我還是頭一次遇到。”

　　：一封感謝信

　　Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "

　　有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個我曾幫助過的朋友寄來的。信封內有五張彩票，都被刮過了，露出了數字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫道，“作為禮物，我給您買了些彩票----真遺憾，您沒中獎。”

　　：兩隻蟑螂

　　Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.""Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"

　　兩隻蟑螂正在一條小巷的垃圾堆上大吃著，其中的一隻談起了它在一家新開張的餐館裡的經歷。“那時我在街對面的那家新餐館裡，”它說。“那裡太乾淨了!廚房沒有一點汙漬，地面閃著白光。任何地方都沒有垃圾。那裡是如此乾淨，整個地方都在發光。”“請不要在我吃東西的時候說這個好嗎?”另一隻蟑螂不悅地說。

　　：學校成績單

　　The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful***憤怒的*** as he read,

　　父親在看他那滿懷希望的兒子帶回來的學校成績單。他邊看邊露出憤怒的表情：

　　"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad***少年，小夥子***.

　　“英語，差;法語，差;數學，中。”他厭惡地瞥了在發抖的兒子一眼。

　　"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."

　　“爸爸，”兒子說，“可能成績不夠理想。但您看到那一項了嗎?”他指了指下一行：“健康狀況，優。”