爆笑簡短的英文笑話大全

　　民間笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事型別,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。小編精心收集了爆笑簡短的英文笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　爆笑簡短的英文笑話：After being away on business

　　Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

　　"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics***化妝品*** clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.

　　"That's a bit much,"said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

　　"That's still quite a bit,"Tim complained.

　　Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

　　"What I mean,"said Tim,"is I'd like to see something really cheap."

　　The clerk handed him a mirror.

　　爆笑簡短的英文笑話：My Husband Will Be Home Soon

　　A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard.

　　Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.

　　James replied, My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!

　　Oh please, the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...

　　Oh really, I can't, he replies...My wife loves this beard!

　　The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

　　The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies, Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon!

　　一個已婚男人去拜訪他的女朋友時，女朋友要求他剃去鬍鬚。

　　噢，詹姆斯，我喜歡你的鬍子，但我更喜歡看到你英俊的面孔。

　　詹姆斯回答說，我的妻子喜歡我的鬍子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否則她會殺了我的。

　　噢，我求你了，女朋友用一種低沉的、性感的聲音又一次說道。

　　可是，我不能，他回答道，我的妻子喜歡這鬍子。

　　在女朋友再三請求下，他終於屈服同意了。夜裡，在妻子熟睡時，詹姆斯爬上了床。

　　妻子朦朦朧朧地摸了摸他的臉說道，噢，邁克爾，你不應該在這裡，我的丈夫很快就要回來了。

　　爆笑簡短的英文笑話：Twenty-one Forever “妙”齡證人

　　In court a judge asked the witness, "How old are you? I mean, really, how old are you? And remember, you're under oath***宣誓*** so tell the truth."

　　The woman replied, "I'm twenty one and some months."

　　The judge said, "Be specific: how many months?"

　　So she said, "One hundred and eighteen months."

　　庭上的法官問證人：“多大了?我的意思是，真實年齡是多少?別忘了剛才已經宣誓過，所以請誠實作答”

　　這位女士回答：“我是二十一歲又幾個月。”

　　法官說：“要講精確，到底是多少個月?”

　　她回答：“一百一十八個月!”

　　爆笑簡短的英文笑話：No Pen But A Pistol

　　A lady and her son whom was about 10 years old came to buy pond fish from me one day. After I packed her favourite fish, I needed to write down the price label then stuck it on the fish bag, but I couldn’t find a pen at that moment.

　　"Did you have a pen?" I asked the lady.

　　"I am afraid not." She opened her hand bag and put her right hand inside to try and find one.

　　I waited and looked at her, her son did the same as me.

　　In a minute, she suddenly and a little loudly said:

　　"I have no pen but I have a pistol." she liked an actress took a pistol out and pointedit at me, I hadn’t reacted yet.

　　"It’s my toy pistol!" Her son loudly shouted to her.

　　爆笑簡短的英文笑話：Modern lief 現代生活

　　Two old friends got together after many years and soon fell to discussing their husbands' faults.

　　We've been married fifteen years, one woman said, and every night after dinner my husband always complains about the food.

　　How terrible! exclaimed the other. Does it bother you?

　　Why should it bother me? her friend replied. if he can't only stand his own cooking?

　　兩個老朋友分別多年之後又見面了，很快就開始談起各自丈夫的缺點。

　　我們結婚十五年了，一個婦女說道，每天晚飯後，我丈夫總要抱怨飯菜。

　　真可惡!另一個驚呼道。難道你不煩嗎?

　　我煩什麼?她的朋友答道。他不過是忍受不了自己的烹調技術。