外國英文風趣笑話

　　在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘記了放鬆自己。下面小編為大家帶來，希望大家喜歡!

　　：伊甸園

　　Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, “What is wrong with you?"

　　亞當在伊甸園裡走來走去，感到十分的孤獨。上帝問亞當:“你怎麼了?”

　　Adam said, "I don’t have anyone to talk to.”

　　亞當說:“我連個說話的人都沒有。”

　　God said，"I will give you a companion and it will be a woman.” He said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make, she will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.”

　　上帝說:“我會給你找個伴兒，她就是一個女人。”上帝接著說:“這個人會為你煮飯，洗衣服，她會時時刻刻同意你的意見，她還會為你生兒育女，而且從不會讓你在半夜裡起床照顧孩子。她更不會嘮叨。她總是第一個承認自己錯了。當你們有分歧的時候，她也不會頭痛，在你需要的時候，她仍舊會毫無保留地給你她全部的愛和熱情。”

　　"She will not nag,” God continued, "and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement, she will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever needed.”

　　亞當問上帝:“想得到這個女人，我要付出什麼代價?”

　　Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God said, "An arm and a Leg!”

　　上帝說:“一條胳膊和一條腿。”

　　Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"

　　亞當說:“那一根肋骨能換什麼?”

　　AND THE REST IS HISTORY.

　　於是就有了後來的人類歷史。

　　：看掌紋

　　Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.

　　保羅正在一條擁擠的街市上閒逛，他停下來，坐在了一個看掌紋人的桌子前。

　　Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future.”

　　這個神祕的老婦人說:“巧美元，我可以看出你的愛情線和你浪漫的未來。”

　　Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend.”

　　保羅欣然地同意了，看掌紋的人看了一眼保羅的掌心說:“我知道你現在沒有女朋友。”

　　"That's true,” said Paul.

　　“對，”保羅說。

　　"Oh my goodness，you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

　　“哦，我的天啊，你非常的孤獨，對嗎?”

　　"Yes，”Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"

　　“對，”保羅害羞的承認了，“太神奇了，你從我的愛情線中看出了這麼多事情。”

　　"Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters.”

　　“愛情線?不，我是從你手上的繭子和水泡中看出來的。”

　　：用了一根棍子，就進了監獄

　　David St. John, 37，was the victim last week of what police say was a terrible mistake.

　　37歲的大衛·斯特·約翰，上週成了警察犯的一個大錯誤的犧牲品。

　　The two Hayward police officers used their batons to hit St. John, who they didn' t realize was blind，after mistaking his collapsible cane for an illegal martial arts weapon, said Lt. Mitchell Penn, the police department' s internal affairs officer.

　　警察署的內務警官米切爾·潘說，兩名看守警察用警棍打了約翰先生，因為他們沒有注意到約翰是一位盲人，錯把他的摺疊柺杖當作了一種違法的兩節棍。

　　"It was a very regrettable incident,” Penn said Tuesday. "But from what I've seen so far it's not a case of overzealous officers. They had no idea he was blind-they were extremely upset when they found out.”

　　“這是一樁讓人非常抱歉的案子。”潘在星期二時說:“但從我們所分析的情況來看，這不是由於警員過於認真造成的，而是他們確實不知道他是盲人—當他們知道真實情況後，後悔末及。”

　　Field training officer Eric Ristram said St. John placed in his pants pocket what appeared to be a nunchaku, a martial arts weapon consisting of two round sticks of wood connect by a chain.

　　野外訓練軍官伊瑞克·瑞斯姆說:“約翰褲兜裡放著一個東西，看上去像是一根兩節棍，它是由兩個可旋轉的木棍組成的，中間被一條鏈連著。”

　　The officers thought the man could see their uniforms so they didn't identify themselves when they told St. John to hand over the contents of his pockets. St. John said later he thought he was about to be mugged.

　　警官在讓約翰交出兜裡的東西時，以為約翰可以通過他制服來判斷他的身份，所以沒有出示證件，而約翰說他還以為自己遭劫了呢。