經典英語笑話短文閱讀

　　冷笑話的主要應用群體是熟悉網路的平民、青年、學生、白領等,他們具備熟練的網路技能、很強的接受新事物的能力以及開拓創新的精神。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C.,]the train's engine fell silent.

　　在紐約至華盛頓的半路上，火車的引擎突然沒聲兒了。

　　"I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced.

　　“我有好訊息和壞訊息宣佈”列車長通過廣播說。

　　"The bad news is we lost power."My fellow passengers groaned.

　　“壞訊息是我們失去動力了” 同車的乘客們不禁抱怨了起來。

　　"The good news,"he added, "is we weren't cruising at 30,000 feet."

　　“至於好訊息”，他補充說，“是我們沒有在3萬英尺上巡航”。

　　篇二

　　He loves chocolate chip cookies 他愛吃巧克力塊曲奇

　　An old man was laying on his death bed.

　　老人躺在床上，

　　He had only hours to live when he suddenly smelled chocolate chip cookies.

　　只能再活幾個小時了。突然，他聞到了巧克力塊曲奇的味道，

　　He loved chocolate chip cookies more than anything else in the world.

　　他最愛吃這種餅乾了。

　　With his last bit of energy, he pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, and to the stairs.

　　用他最後一點力氣，老人翻下床，爬到樓梯那，下樓到了廚房。

　　Then down the stairs and into the kitchen. There his wife was baking chocolate chip cookies.

　　他老伴正在做巧克力塊曲奇。

　　As he reached for one, he got SMACKED across the back of his hand by the wooden spoon his wife was holding.

　　他拿了一塊，這時手背被他老伴用木勺打了一下，

　　"Leave them alone!" she said, "They're for the funeral!"

　　“放下，”她說，“這是葬禮上用的!”

　　篇三

　　Honest?誠實嗎

　　Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

　　在動物園，我無意中聽到兩個學齡前的小男孩在聊天。

　　"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second.

　　“我叫Billy。你叫什麼名字?”　一個男孩問題。“Tommy”，另一個男孩回答。

　　"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.

　　“我爸爸是一位會計師，你爸爸是做什麼的?”Billy問Tommy。

　　Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy.

　　“我爸爸是一位律師，”Tommy回答。“真的嗎?”Billy問。

　　"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.

　　“不是啦，就跟別的律師一樣。”Tommy回答。

　　篇四

　　How could a Chihuahua kill a Rottweiler?吉娃娃怎麼可能會要了羅特韋爾的命

　　A man walks into a bar one day and asks,"Does anyone here own that Rottweiler outside?"

　　一個男人走進酒吧問，“外面那條羅特韋爾狗是誰的?”

　　"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"

　　“我的，” 一個騎摩托車的男人站起來說，“怎麼了?”

　　";Well, I think my Chihuahua just killed him""What are you talkin' about?!"the biker says, disbelievingly.

　　“哦，我想我的吉娃娃剛要了它的命……”“你在說什麼啊?”騎摩托的人覺得難以置信，

　　"How could your little runt kill my Rottweiler?""Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"

　　說，“就憑你那隻小不點，怎麼可能殺得了我的羅特韋爾狗?”“哦，它卡在你的狗的喉嚨裡了。”

　　篇五

　　If Life Were Like A Computer 假如生活是一臺電腦

　　You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel.

　　你可以通過控制面板增加或者刪除一些人;

　　You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it!

　　可以把孩子放進回收站，然後在你喜歡的時候再還原。

　　You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings.

　　可以通過調整顯示器的設定讓外表更好看;

　　You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy.

　　可以在吵鬧的時候關掉音箱;

　　You could click on “find” ***Ctrl, F*** to recover your lost remote control and car keys.

　　可以點選“搜尋”找到丟失了的遙控器和車鑰匙;

　　To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!

　　鍛鍊身體的時候，點選“執行”。

　　If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!

　　要是你的生活一團糟，同時按下“ctrl, alt, delete”鍵，一切重新開始。