經典英語笑話短文

　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　篇1

　　平等對待

　　A good friend of mine warned me that, as my three daughters became old enough to date，I'd disapprove of every young man who took them out. When the time came，I was pleased that my friend's prediction was wrong. Each boy was pleasant and well-mannered.

　　我的一位好朋友告誡我說，等我的三個女兒長大了，最好不要讓她們的任何男朋友帶她們出去約會。現在我的女兒們長大了，讓我高興的是情況不像我的那位朋友預料的那麼糟。我看見她們的男朋友都很懂禮貌，彬彬有禮。

　　Talking to my daughter Joanna one day，I said that I liked all the young men she and her sisters brought home.

　　有一天，我和女兒琳娜聊天.我說我喜歡她和她兩個姐姐帶回家的男朋友們。

　　"You know, Dad,"she replied, "we don't show you everybody."

　　她說:“你知道嗎?爸爸，我們沒有把所有的男朋友都帶來讓您看。”

　　篇2

　　定義

　　Mark, our youngest son, was born after I had completed my active Air Force career. As a retired colonel, I enjoyed discussing with the children my time in the service. One day，Mark asked me what a colonel was，and I suggested he look up the word in the dictionary.“Dad，I think I found it,"he said，a few minutes later. " soft part of a nut.'"

　　我最小的兒子馬克，是我結束那富有挑戰性的空軍生涯後出生的.作為一個退役上校，我喜歡和孩子們聊聊我服役的那段時光。一天，馬克問我什麼叫“上校”，我建議化去查查字典。幾分鐘後，他說:“爸爸，我想我找到答案了。果仁:堅果中的柔軟部分。”

　　篇3

　　急轉彎兒

　　A guest of ours at the country club took a wrong turn and found herself in the menu's locker room. She encountered a burly man clad only in a towel and puffing on a cigar. "May I help youy"he asked."No，thanks,"she answered calmly. "I'm just looking for the non-smoking section."

　　在我們鄉村俱樂部裡有位女客人，她拐錯了彎兒，發現自己走進了男子更衣室。碰巧撞到一個很壯實的男人。他裹著一條浴巾在抽雪茄.“我能為您效勞嗎?”他問.

　　“不，謝謝，”她平靜地回答。“我是在找一個無人抽菸的地方。”

　　篇4

　　各種測試

　　My battery commander and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance sergeant in our artillery unit. The selected soldier needed to have keen eyesight，plus the ability to react quickly. During one interview，the commander pointed to a hill about a mile away and asked a young sergeant，"Can you see that hill over there?"

　　炮兵司令和我一起給一群申請去好外炮兵部做偵察員的報名者面試。能勝任這個職務的人必須眼力好，反應快.在面試中，司令指著一英里外的一座小山問一個年輕的軍士:

　　“你能看到那座山嗎?”

　　"Yes，sir, "he replied.

　　“是的，長官.”他回答。

　　"Can you see the radio antenna on that hi11?"Again, the soldier said that he could." Well，then," the commander went on,”can you see the bird sitting on the antenna?"

　　“你能看到山上的雷達天線嗎?”

　　The sergeant leaned forward and squinted.”No，sir，”he said，"but I can hear it singing.“

　　“是的，長官。”他又一次回答.

　　He got the job.

　　“那好，”司令繼續說:“你能看見天線上有隻鳥嗎?”

　　這名軍士把身體往前傾了傾，眯起眼睛，“不，長官，”他說，“但我聽得見它在叫.”