關於英語長笑話帶翻譯閱讀

　　網際網路不僅是我們生活中不可缺少的，而且也是我們工作學習之餘緩解壓力、舒緩情緒的重要渠道。正是由於我們有這樣的需要，網路笑話得以繁榮興盛。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!

　　篇一

　　哦，我懂了

　　Mr. Beans had always wanted to travel to the African jungle to hunt, and, to his mind, thegreatest prey was beyond doubt the mighty gorilla. Unfortunately, the gorilla is anendangered species, and may no longer be killed for sport, but Mr. Beans had heard of oneprofessional hunter who had devised a way to capture the gorilla alive.

　　賓士先生總想到非洲打獵，在他看來，壯碩的大猩猩無疑是最佳的狩獵物件。不幸的是，大猩猩乃是一種瀕臨絕種的動物，不適合娛樂性質的狩獵活動，但賓士先生曾聽聞一位發明可以活捉大猩猩的職業獵人.

　　One fine day found Mr. Beans talking to the great white hunter, Mr. Bones, in his tent.

　　一天，賓士先生和偉大的白人獵物專家朋馳先生在帳篷中談話。

　　"Well, if you want to go on safari, my services will cost you $ 1,000 a day, my man Mbulu $ 500a day, $ 500 for the schnauzer and $ 500 for the pygmy with the gun," explained Bones.

　　“如果你要去獵大猩猩的話，我本人服務一天索價一千美金;我手下恩布魯一天五百美金，德國獵犬一天五百美金;另外帶槍的矮黑人也一天五百，”朋馳解釋說道。

　　Beans did not quite understand these charges, but nonetheless agreed.

　　賓士先生並不很瞭解這些價目，可是他仍然答應了。

　　On their very first day on the hunt, Bones spotted a gorilla, which scampered up a tree. Mbulu,a mighty Zulu, pursued the ape and shook the branch on which it clung till the beast fell off.Immediately the schnauzer leapt forward, biting the befuddled ape on the most tender part ofits anatomy. The gorilla fainted with shock, and was easily captured.

　　第一天出去打獵，朋馳看見一隻猩猩逃到一棵樹上，恩布魯是一位孔武有力的粗魯人，他追趕到樹上，猛力搖動那隻猩猩攀附的樹枝，待猩猩掉下之後，獵狗立刻跳上前去，咬住它身體最柔嫩的部分，猩猩驚嚇得昏了過去，很容易就被活捉了。

　　Mr. Beans was quite delighted, and even more so the next day, when the performance wasrepeated. But he still couldn ’t figure out the purpose of the pygmy with the gun, for whom hewas paying $ 500 a day, and who seemed only to smile and pick his teeth.

　　賓士先生非常高興，尤其第二天又捕到另一隻猩猩，更讓他欣喜萬分，但他還是想不通他每天付五百美金請的帶槍的小黑人。

　　Finally, on the third day, Bones spotted the largest gorilla they'd ever encountered. As before,Mbulu pursued the primate into the tree. But this time, no amount of shaking would dislodgethe beast. In fact, it turned on Mbulu,grappled with him, and sent him hurtling to the ground.

　　第三天時，朋馳看見他們所遇到的最大的一隻猩猩，如以往一樣，恩布魯把那隻靈長類動物追趕到樹上，可是這次怎麼也搖不下來。相反地，它轉向恩布魯，一陣扭打後，把他扔到地上去。

　　As the mighty Zulu fell, he shouted to the pygmy, "Shoo the dog! Shoot the dog!"

　　恩布魯跌下時，他對矮黑人叫道：“快射那隻獵狗!射那隻獵狗”。

　　篇二

　　古老的中國智慧

　　Once upon a time, in ancient China, the emperor was seriously ill. None of his esteemedphysicians could find a cure,until an ancient sage revealed that only the blood of a living Foobird could restore the imperial health.

　　很久很久以前在古老的中國，皇帝病得很重，所有德高望重的御醫都沒辦法醫治，直到後來才有一位智者透露，只有活福鳥的血才能恢復皇帝的健康。

　　Now the Foo bird was extremely rare, almost legendary,and the greatest hunters in the landwere assigned the task of capturing a specimen-but before they left on their quest, the ancientsage warned them that if one of them were fortunate enough to catch the bird, he should onno account clean or change his clothing till he had presented his prize to the emperor.

　　問題是福鳥本來就很少見，幾乎只是傳說而已，於是全國各地最好的獵人都被指派進行捕捉福鳥的工作。但在他們出發之前，那名智者警告他們，要是有人有幸捉到一隻福鳥的話，無論如何在送到皇帝手中之前，絕不可以清潔或換掉身上的衣服。

　　The hunters scoured the empire, and after several months, the greatest of them spotted amagnificent Foo perched high in a tree. Using all his skill, the huntsman snuck up on the birdand managed to seize it by the claws, but soon the startled creature left a huge odious blobofexcrement on the hunter's shoulder.

　　獵人們搜遍了整個帝國，幾個月後，其中一名本領最好的獵人不經意看見了一隻福鳥棲息在一棵樹上。他用盡所有技巧偷偷接近那隻福鳥並抓住了它的腳爪，但那隻受到驚嚇的福鳥馬上在他的肩膀上拉了一大團臭氣燻人的鳥糞。

　　Though the stench was almost unbearable,the woodsman remembered the sage's injunctionand carried his double burden all the way back to court. By that time, the odor had onlybecome worse, and thehunter was deeply embarrassed.Finally, he felt that he could not entertheemperor's presence in such a state, and wiped the offending substance from hisshoulder.

　　雖然臭味難當，但獵人仍記得智者的訓示，便連同身上的鳥糞護送福鳥回宮。那時鳥糞的味道更難聞了，獵人也覺得非常尷尬。最後他覺得不能那個樣子去見皇帝，於是他把肩膀上令人作嘔的東西擦拭掉了。

　　Instantly, the Foo bird fell over dead, theemperor took a turn for the worse, and the hunterwas clapped in irons.And themoral of the story is: If the Foo shits,wear it!

　　就在那一刻福鳥便倒地身亡，皇帝的病情也更加惡化，而那名獵人則立刻被關進牢中。這個故事的寓意就是：“福鳥在你身上拉尿，你就扛著。”

　　篇三

　　You said what?

　　你說什麼?

　　Moe, Larry and Curly had been stranded on a desert island. They were walking along disconsolately when Moe happened to kick a bottle lying in the sand. The bottle broke and a genie suddenly emerged before them.

　　莫伊、賴利和捲毛因船觸礁擱淺而被困在一個無人荒島上，他們寂寞無助地沿岸邊走著，這時莫伊踢到沙灘上一隻瓶子，那隻瓶子破了後，突然出現一個精靈。

　　"Thank you. oh Masters, for releasing me from my captivity. For your kindness, please allow me to grant you each a wish. "

　　“謝謝你們從囚禁我的瓶子中把我放出來，我的主人。為了報答你們的恩惠，請讓我為每位實現一個願望。”

　　"Well, it's not too difficult to figure out what I want," said Moe. "I wish I were back home. "

　　“哦，我的願望很容易想出來，”莫伊說。“我希望我能回到家裡。”

　　No sooner had he said the words than he was back in dear old Brooklyn.

　　話一說完，莫伊就已在他可愛的布魯克林老家中。

　　"I want to be back home, too," said I Larry, and he, too, was instantly transported.

　　“我也想回家，”賴利說，他馬上也就被送走了。

　　" Gee, it's alone some here without Moe and Larry," said Curly. "I wish they were here to keep me company. "

　　“唉，沒有莫伊和賴利，一個人在這裡真無聊，”捲毛說。“我希望他們能回到這裡陪伴我。”