小學的簡單的英語笑話
幽默與笑話同是社會交往活動中不可缺少的交際手段,探索幽默與笑話的區別,認為有意與無意、含蓄與直白、複雜與簡單、創新與故舊是區分幽默與笑話的重要標準。下面是小編帶來的，歡迎閱讀!
篇一
顧全面子
Once there was a scholar who was very poor，but was very much concerned with his reputation. One evening，a thief broke into the scholar’s house，but he could find nothing worth stealing. So he said，"What bad lucky Ihave hit upon a real beggars”Hearing this，the scholar fished out little money he had from his bed head，and went after the thief. He stopped the thief and whispered to him，"You come at a most inopportune time. Would you please make do with this little money2 But for Heaven’s sake don’t talk about it in front of anyone else.By all means leave me a little face，eh?”
從前有個讀書人家裡很窮，卻很愛面子。一天晚上，小偷到他家來行竊，卻沒有東西值得一偷，就說:“晦氣，我算碰到真正的窮鬼了!”讀書人聽見了，就從床頭摸出僅有的幾文錢，追上去攔住小偷，輕輕地說:“你來得真不巧。請將就些把這些錢拿去。不過在人家面前，你可千萬不要隨便說，給我留點面子啊。”
篇二
葬禮何時舉行?
一天課後，我兒子有一個重要的約會，那時他在勞倫斯的堪薩斯大學任助教。他穿上白襯衣，戴上領帶，套上正統的深色西裝。正要離開房間的時候，他發現鼠夾上夾了一隻老鼠。他小心謹慎地拿著鼠夾，向垃圾堆走去。有位教授碰巧路過，看到此番情景，問道:“葬禮何時舉行?”
My son,a teaching assistant at the University of Kansas in Lawrence，had an important appointment after class one day. He put on a white shirt，a tie and a conservative dark suit. As he was leaving his apartment，he noticed his mouse trap had a victim.Holding the trap carefully out in front of him，he walked to the dump. A professor happened by，took in the situation and asked，"What time is the funeral?”
篇三
A man was wandering around in a field ,
有名男子在田野裡徘徊
thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her,
心裡想著他的老婆對他有多麼好，他多麼幸運擁有她。
He asked God,"Why did you make her so kind hearted?"
他問上帝：“你為什麼要把她造得這麼心地善良?”
The Lord responded,"So you could love her ,my son."
主響應說：“我兒 呀，這樣你就會愛她呀。”
"Why did you make her so good looking?"
“你為什麼要把她造得這麼貌美呢?”
"So you could love her,my son ."
“我兒呀，這樣你就會愛她呀。”
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
“你為什麼要把她造成一個很會做飯菜的人呢?”
"So you could love her,my son."
“我兒呀，這樣你就會愛她呀。”
The man thought about this.
這名男子想了一下這件事。
Then he said ," I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything,but,why did you make her sostupid? "
然後他說:“我並不是有意好像我不知好歹，或是什麼的,可是，你為什麼把她造得這麼笨?”
"So she could love you,my son."
“ 我兒呀，這樣她就會愛你呀。”
篇四
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:
有一名男子正走在街上的時候聽到一個聲音：
"Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step,a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
“停!站住不要動瞅口果你再走一步，就會有一個磚塊掉到你的頭上砸死你。”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
這名男子停住了，一個大磚塊就掉在他的面前。
The man was astonished .
這名男子非常驚訝。
He went on,and after a while he was going to cross the road.
他繼續向前走：不久後，他要穿越馬路。
Once again the voice shouted;
那個聲音再次叫說：
Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step a car will over you and you will die."
“停!站住不要動，如果你再走一步，就會有一輛汽車輾過你，你就會死掉。”
The man did as he was instructed,
這名男子因為曾被指示過，所以就照著做，
just as a car came careening around the corner,barely missing him.
此時正好有一輛汽車左搖右晃地衝過轉角處，差一點撞上他。
"Where are you? " the man asked,"Who are you? "
這名男子問說：“你在哪裡?你是誰?”
"I am your guardian angle," the voice answered.
這個聲音回答說：“我是你的守護天使。…”
"Oh yeah?" the man asked."And where the hell were you when I got married?"
這名男子問說：“喔，是嗎?那我結婚的時候：你死到哪裡去了?”
篇五
Helen was on her deathbed ,
海倫躺在她臨終的病床上奄奄一息。
with her husband Jack at her side.
她的丈夫陪在她的身旁。
He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.
他握著她冰冷的手，淚水靜靜地從他的臉上流下來。
Her pale lip moved. "Jack," she said,"
她蒼白的嘴脣顫動著。她說：“傑克，”
Hush," he quickly interrupted, "Don't talk."
他很快就打斷說：“噓，不要說話。”
But she insisted,"Jack,"she said in her tired voice.
但是她堅持要說。她以疲憊的聲音說：
"I have to talk.I must confess.”
“傑克，我一定要說。我必須向你坦白。”
"There is nothing to confess,"said the weeping Jack.
滿臉淚水的傑克說：“沒什麼好坦白的。
"It's all right.Everything's all right."
沒關係。一切都沒事。”
"No,No!I must die in peace.I must confess,Jake ,that I have been unfaithful to you."
“不，不，我必須死得安心。我一定要坦白我對你不忠;紅杏出牆。”
Jack stroked her hand .
傑克撫摸著她的手。
"Now ,Helen,don't be concerned.I know all about it," he sobbed.
他啜泣著說：“海倫 ，現在你不要擔心了。我全部都知道了。
"Why else would I poison you ?"
不然我為什么要毒死你呀?"