英語幽默笑話短文帶翻譯

　　笑話是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透過笑話我們可以看到一個民族的生存環境、生活方式、社會關係和心理特徵等等。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：Who is my father

　　A child aged seven or eight ran hastily to the police station and told a policeman, "Please come quickly! A man is at my house beating up my father. He is dying!" The policemen therefore rushed to the scene with the child. They indeed saw two men fighting with one another. The policeman said, "Which one is your father?"

　　The child answered, "I also do not know who is my father, that's why they are fighting."

　　有一個叫阿達的小孩，七、八歲，匆匆的跑到警察局，說：“哎呀!警察，請你們趕快來，有人在我家那邊打我爸爸，快打死了!”警察就趕快衝，跟著小孩子跑回來，果然看到有兩個男人在那邊互相打架。那個警察說：“哪一個是你的爸爸?”

　　小孩說：“我也不知道誰是我爸爸，所以他們兩個才打起來。”

　　：Criticize

　　One American came to Russia to have a look and visit. And there he saw all the secret police, and the people were scared and didn't smile. So the American said, "What's wrong?" He said to his friend, "What's that? You dare not say anything. In America, we can criticize the president and government anytime we want. We are free to criticize them anytime, about anything." So the Russian friend said, "Yeah, here we're also free to criticize the American government and its president any time."

　　有一個美國人去俄國考查訪問，他看到很多祕密警察，人民都很害怕，面無笑容。所以他問朋友：“怎麼回事?這算什麼?你們什麼都不敢說。在美國，我們隨時都可以批評政府和總統，不管什麼時候、對任何事情，都可以自由批評他們。”那位俄國朋友說：“是啊，在我們這裡，隨時也都可以自由批評美國總統跟政府。”

　　：Hospital for the first time

　　At age of 83, granddad went to hospital for the first time. "What is this?" he asked as he held up the bell cord they had fastened to his pillow.

　　"That's the bell, Granddad." I replied.

　　He pulled it several times, then remarked, "I don't hear it ringing."

　　"Oh, it doesn't ring," I explained. "It turns on a light in the hall for the nurse."

　　"Well!" he replied indignantly. "If the nurse wants a light on in the hall, she can turn it on herself."

　　爺爺在83歲的時候，第一次住進了醫院。“這是幹什麼用的?”他抓起系在枕頭旁邊的呼叫鈴的繩子問道。

　　“那是拉鈴用的，爺爺。”我回答說。

　　他拉了幾下問：“我怎麼聽不到鈴響呀?”

　　“哦，不是它響，”我解釋道，“你一拉這根繩子，護士值班室的燈就亮了。”

　　“原來如此!”他憤怒地說，“如果護士想開燈的話，她完全可以自己動手嘛。”

　　：How About the Kitchen?

　　Jack told his wife, Helen, that he wanted to spend his vacation where he had never been before.

　　Helen said, “How about the kitchen?”

　　傑克對他的妻子海倫說，他想去以前從沒到過的地方度假。

　　海倫說：“去廚房怎麼樣?”

　　：All in here

　　The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor's Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell. So one Visitor's Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you've never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George's shoulder. "Tell me, don't you have any friends or family?" George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It's just that they're all in here!"

　　典獄長對獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因為每逢週末的探訪日，大多數囚犯都有家人或朋友來訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。因此在一個探訪日，典獄長把喬治叫到辦公室說：“喬治，我注意到從來沒有人來探望過你。”他滿懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒有任何朋友或家人嗎?”喬治回答：“喔!當然有，典獄長，只不過他們全都在這裡面!”