有關爆笑英文小笑話精選

　　笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆。與此同時,笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。小編分享有關爆笑英文小笑話，希望可以幫助大家!

　　有關爆笑英文小笑話：Big game mishap 倒黴的雄獅

　　A big –game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

　　The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

　　The wife said, "What are we going to do?"

　　"Nothing," said the hunter, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

　　一個專門獵殺獅子、大象等大型動物的獵人和妻子、岳母一起去打獵。一天晚上，他們在叢林深處紮了營。妻子一覺醒來，發現母親不見了。她急忙跑去告訴丈夫，堅持要和丈夫一起去找她母親。

　　獵人拿起來複槍，喝了一大口威士忌，和妻子一起去尋找岳母。在距離帳篷不遠的空地，他們看到一個令人不寒而慄的場景：岳母站在一片濃密的灌木叢前，無法後退，面前對著一頭雄獅。

　　妻子說：“我們該怎麼辦?”

　　獵人說：“獅子自己惹的麻煩，讓它自己解決吧。”

　　有關爆笑英文小笑話：Mama Needs A New Pair of Shoes

　　A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuinealligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the localvendors were asking.

　　After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

　　The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

　　Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.

　　She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches inamazement.

　　Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Dang it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

　　有關爆笑英文小笑話：A bargain 物美價廉

　　A friend of mine, while visiting his mother in Florida, took her to a shoe store to purchasea new pair of shoes. While she was trying on different styles, my friend took the manageraside. "When she picks out a pair that she likes," he said, "Just tell her that the price is 12 dollars, I'll pay the regular price, whatever it is."

　　The following week, my friend was waling by the shoe store and the manager recognizedhim and called him in.

　　"What's the problem?" asked my friend as he entered the store. "Wasn't my check any good?"

　　"That's not it." Answered the manager, "The problem is that your mother is bringing all her friends in for those twelve-dollar shoes."

　　我一個朋友到佛倫裡達看望他媽媽，一天，他帶媽媽去鞋店買鞋。當他媽媽試鞋子的時候，我朋友把鞋店經理拉倒一旁，偷偷對他說：“只要她挑到了喜歡的鞋，你就告訴她那雙鞋要12美元，我會按照實際價格付款的。”

　　過了一週，我朋友經過那家鞋店，鞋店經理認出了他，叫了進去。

　　“有什麼問題嗎?” 我朋友走進鞋店問道，“是不是我的支票過期了?”

　　“不是的，“經理答道，“問題是你媽媽帶她所有的朋友都來買12美元一雙的鞋。”

　　有關爆笑英文小笑話：Till the last minute 直至最後一分鐘

　　Two sisters kept up a feud for 30 years. On Matilda's 70th birthday, Alice felt pang ofremorse, but it passed.

　　Yet later, when she heard Matilda was ill, she felt compelled to visit her. Matilda looked sternly at her younger sister.

　　At last she said in a faint voice, "The doctors say I'm seriously ill, Alice. If I pass away, I want you to know you've forgiven. But if I pull through, things stay as they are!"

　　一對姐妹關係不和長達三十年。在瑪蒂爾達70歲生日時，愛麗絲感到非常後悔，不過這種想法很快就過去了。

　　後來，當她聽到瑪蒂爾達生病的時候，她覺得應該去看望瑪蒂爾達。瑪蒂爾達嚴肅地盯著她的妹妹。

　　最後她用微弱的聲音說道：“醫生說我病得很嚴重，愛麗絲。如果我離開人世，我想讓你知道你已經被原諒了，但是如果我挺過去了，那麼我們就還像原來一樣。”

　　有關爆笑英文小笑話：Flatterer 馬屁精

　　Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics***化妝品*** guaranteed to make her look years younger.

　　After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asks her husband - "Darling, honestly, if you didn't know me, what age would you say I am?"

　　Looking over her carefully, Andy replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five."

　　"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward, he stops her by saying...

　　"WHOA, hold on there sweety!" he interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet!"

　　朱蒂是我的朋友，她拒絕變老的容顏，就出門買了一套新出的化妝品，可不便宜，但能讓她看上去年輕很多歲。

　　朱蒂在鏡子前塗抹這個“神奇”的化妝品塗了很久，她問老公：“親愛的，老實說，如果你不認識我，你覺得我有多大啊?”

　　朱蒂的老公仔細看了看，回答：“看面板是二十，看頭髮是十八，看身材是二十五。”

　　“哦，你這個馬屁精!”朱蒂脫口而出。正當朱蒂準備告訴老公得到什麼獎勵時，老公沒讓她說下去。

　　“哇，親愛的，等會!”他說，“我還沒有加起來呢!”