有關經典英文小笑話閱讀

　　民間笑話故事像神話小說等民間文學一樣，是廣大勞動人民在長期的生產勞動和與自然界作鬥爭的過程中，以口頭形式創作和傳承的文學體裁。小編精心收集了有關經典英文小笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

　　有關經典英文小笑話：Women's Bumper-Stickers

　　SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

　　GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

　　IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

　　MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

　　PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,

　　SEEKS FROG.

　　COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN...SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

　　DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.

　　IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

　　DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

　　I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN.

　　GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?

　　NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.

　　WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

　　OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

　　YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

　　ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

　　I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

　　HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

　　SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.

　　IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.

　　DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

　　有關經典英文小笑話：Labor Pills

　　Once a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. The doctor came to her husband and her and told them of a new experimental drug that allows the woman to transfer 25% of the pain to the father. The husband feels really bad for his wife so he decides they will try it.

　　The wife takes the pill and a few minutes later the husband says, "I don't feel a thing. You women are babies. Take another pill I can handle this." So the wife takes another pill. Same thing happens. Her husband tells her to take another pill. Same thing. By now she has transferred 75% of her pain to her husband. She is feeling a little pain but her husband is still feeling nothing. He is convinced that women are complete wuses. He tells her, "Take another pill. This isn't hurting me at all. Let me take all the pain away." So she does. Now they are both feeling great.

　　A few hours later, the wife gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. The next day they take their newborn son home, and there they find the mailman dead on the doorstep.

　　有關經典英文小笑話：Fishing Experience

　　A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up really early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out.

　　She was not familiar with the lake, so she rowed out and anchored the boat, and started reading her book. Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside the woman's boat and asks her what she's doing?

　　She says, "Reading my book." The Game Warden tells her she is in a restricted fishing area and she explains that she's not fishing.

　　To which he replied, "But you have all this equipment. I will have to take you in and write you up!"

　　Angry that the warden was being so unreasonable, the lady told the warden, "If you do that, I will charge you with rape."

　　The warden, shocked by her statement, replied, "But I didn't even touch you."

　　To which the lady replied, "Yeah, but you have all the equipment!"

　　有關經典英文小笑話：Medical Orders

　　A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

　　After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

　　"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him anutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

　　On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"

　　"He said you're going to die," she replied.

　　有關經典英文小笑話：Mortician In Shock

　　A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated.

　　As he examined the body of Bernie Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery:

　　Bernie Schwartz had the longest penis he had ever seen!

　　"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the mortician, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

　　And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong.

　　The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home.

　　The first person he showed was his wife.

　　"I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened his briefcase.

　　"Oh my god!" she screamed, "Bernie Schwartz is dead!"