有關兒童英文小笑話大全爆笑

　　冷笑話是一種新興的語言現象,伴隨著網路的普及它已經滲透到了青年群體的日常生活,偶爾爆出的一兩句冷笑話能使交流氛圍變得輕鬆愉悅,也能展示交談者的幽默和智慧。小編整理了有關爆笑兒童英文小笑話，歡迎閱讀!

　　有關爆笑兒童英文小笑話篇一

　　The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!

　　老師為了讓學生記住先思考後發言，告訴他們在說出重要事情之前先數到50，如果是特別重要的事情，要先數到100。 第二天，當老師背靠著火爐講課時，發現好幾個學生的嘴脣在很快地不停地動。突然，全班學生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老師，您的大衣著火了!”

　　有關爆笑兒童英文小笑話篇二

　　An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma ofhis favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength,and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of thebedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing withboth hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.

　　一位瀕臨死亡的老人正躺在他的床上，承受著死亡的煎熬。突然一股香味順著樓下飄了上來，那正是他最喜歡的巧克力小薄餅的味道。他用盡吃奶的力氣掙扎著從床上爬了起來，倚著牆，慢慢地走出了臥室，並且用最後的力量用雙手抓住扶手走下了樓梯。老人靠在門框上，嘴裡喘著氣，眼睛凝神著廚房。

　　Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spreadout upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chipcookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing toit that he left this world a happy man?

　　如果不是因為承受著臨死的痛苦，老人會認為自己到了天堂。那裡，在廚房鋪著報紙的桌子上，確切地說有數百個他最喜歡吃的巧克力小薄餅。真在天堂嗎?還是他那離婚妻子的最後一次英雄般的愛心顯示，以便讓他開心地離開這個世界?

　　Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in arumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in hismouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shockingly made itsway to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by hiswife.

　　集中最後的力量，老人跪著雙膝掙扎著移向桌子。他口乾舌燥，嘴巴張開。他感受到了美妙的甜餅味道，彷彿要將他帶回人世。他的一隻年邁乾癟的手顫顫悠悠地伸向桌子邊緣的一隻小甜餅。突然，他妻子扔過一把鏟子，砸在他的手上。

　　Stay out of those, she said, they're for the funeral.

　　“離遠點”，他妻子說。“這是為你的葬禮準備的。”

　　有關爆笑兒童英文小笑話篇三

　　An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted toplant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up thegarden. He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig upthat garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!

　　一個老人獨居在北愛爾蘭，他的獨生子正在坐牢。老人想在花園裡種些土豆，但不知道誰可以幫忙把泥土翻鬆。他寫信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說道：“看在上帝的面上，千萬不要翻鬆花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了。”

　　At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden,but didn't find any guns.

　　第二天凌晨4點，一隊英國士兵出現在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但並沒有找到任何槍支。”

　　Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

　　老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問到底發生了什麼事情，下一步應該怎麼做。

　　His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.

　　兒子回信道：“你只管種土豆好了。”