關於最搞笑的英語小笑話

　　笑話是民族文化及社會生活中不可缺少的一環,在民間文化中以口口相傳的形式傳播。小編精心收集了，供大家欣賞學習!

　　：誰的兒子最偉大

　　The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is amonsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello,Monsignor'."

　　The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say,'Hello, Your Excellency'."

　　"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Hello,Your Eminence'.

　　" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, 'Oh, my God'!"

　　四位牧師的母親聚到一起談論她們的兒子。“我的兒子是個教士，”第一位母親自豪地說道，“他進入房間，人們都說，‘您好，閣下’。”

　　第二為母親說：“我的兒子是位主教。他進入房間，人們都稱，‘您好，大人’。”

　　“我的兒子是位紅衣主教，”第三位母親接著說，“他走進房間，人們都說，‘您好，尊敬的主教大人’。”

　　第四位母親略思片刻。“我的兒子身高六英尺十，體重三百磅，”她說，“他要是走入房間，人們都說‘哦，我的上帝!’”

　　：我叔叔是幾月走的

　　When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait anylonger after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then somewarmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, theceremony will be perfect.

　　The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that itmade his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his unclegone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?"

　　傑克給人鞠躬，飛快地一點頭，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂禮貌。於是便有好心的人教他說，“下次鞠躬的時候，你就在心裡數：正月、二月、……一直數到十二月為止，然後再直起身來。這樣，禮節就周全了。”

　　第二天，傑克見到他的叔叔，他便如法炮製。這躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一驚，趕緊逃開了。傑克抬頭一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便問過路人：“我叔叔是幾月走的?”

　　：學小提琴的妙用

　　"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always askingfor things and her father was not very pleased.

　　"You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, thendancing, then swimming. Now it's the violin.

　　"I'll play every day ,Daddy." Sarah said. "I'll try very hard.

　　"All right," her father said. "This is what I'll do. I'll pay for you to have lessons for six weeks.At the end of six weeks you must play something for me. If you play well, you can have morelessons. If you play badly, I will stop the lessons."

　　"0K. Daddy," Sarah said. "That is fair."

　　He soon found a good violin teacher and Sarah began her lessons. The teacher was veryexpensive, but her father kept his promise.

　　The six weeks passed quickly. The time came for Sarah to play for her father.

　　She went to the living room and said, "I'm ready to play for you, Daddy.

　　"Fine, Sarah," her father said. "Begin."

　　She began to play. She played very badly. She made a terrible noise.

　　Her father had one of his friends with him, and the friend put his hands over his ears.

　　When Sarah finished, her father said, "Well done, Sarah. You can have more lessons."

　　Sarah ran happily out of the room. Her father's friend turned to him. "You've spent a lot ofmoney, but she still plays very badly. he said.

　　"Well, that's true," her father said. "But since she started learning the violin I've been ableto buy five apartments in this build very cheaply. In another six weeks I'll own the wholebuilding!"

　　“爸爸，我能學拉小提琴嗎?”小莎拉問她的父親。她總是要東西，因此她爸爸很不高興。

　　“你花了我很多錢，莎拉，”他說，“開始你想學騎馬，然後想學跳舞，然後是游泳。現在又想學拉小提琴。”

　　“我會每天都拉的，爸爸，”莎拉說，“我會認真練的。”

　　“好吧，”她爸爸說。“下面是我要做的：我會為你付六個星期的小提琴課的錢，六個星期後你必須拉首曲子給我聽。如果你拉得很好，你可以繼續上小提琴課，要是你拉得很差，你就不要再學了。”

　　“行。爸爸，”莎拉說，“這很公平。”

　　他很快就找到了一個好的小提琴老師，莎拉就開始學拉提琴了。儘管學費很高，但她爸爸遵守了諾言。

　　六個星期很快就過去了。該莎拉拉提琴給爸爸聽了。

　　她走進起居室說：“我準備好拉提琴給你聽了。”

　　“好哇，莎拉，”她爸爸說。“開始吧。”

　　她開始拉了。她拉得很差，發出了可怕的嗓音。她爸爸身旁有位朋友，朋友用手捂著耳朵。

　　莎拉拉完一曲，她父親說：“拉得好，莎拉。你可以繼續學琴了。”

　　莎拉高興地跑出門去。她父親的朋友對他說：“你已經花了不少錢了，但她還是拉得很差。”