關於長一點的英語笑話欣賞

　　笑話源於生活，隨著人類的誕生，笑話也就隨之產生了 。本文是關於長一點的英語笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　關於長一點的英語笑話：Heaven and hell

　　A police chief, a fire chief, and a city attorney were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city.Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse.The farmer welcomed them in, but cautioned them that there were only two spare beds, and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals.After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn.Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse. The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep.There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig.The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief.A short time later, another knock was heard at the door. The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire.He the said that every time he started to go to sleep, he started to have a fireman's worst nightmare, that of burning to death.The city attorney, in desperation for sleep, then agreed to sleep in the barn.This seemed like a good idea until a few minutes later, when another knock was heard at the door. When the occupants answered the door, there stood the very indignant cows and pigs.

　　關於長一點的英語笑話：Legal advice

　　A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?""I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

　　關於長一點的英語笑話：Stupid, degenerate..

　　After his motion to suppress evidence was denied by the court the attorney spoke up, "Your Honor," he said, "What would you do if I called you a stupid, degenerate, old

　　fool."

　　The Judge, now also angered, responded, "I would hold you in contempt of court and seek to have you suspended from practicing before this court again!"

　　"What if I only thought it?" asked the attorney.

　　"In that case, there is nothing I could do, you have the right to think whatever you may."

　　"Oh, I see. Then, if it pleases the court, let the record reflect, I 'think'you're a stupid, degenerate, old fool."

　　關於長一點的英語笑話：Charity

　　A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.

　　So the person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

　　"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

　　The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

　　Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

　　The lawyer interrupts, "Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

　　The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

　　"Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

　　The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

　　On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"