長一點的英文笑話欣賞

　　笑話的界定因人而異，有的人認為是笑話的東西，有的人不認為是笑話。本文是長一點的英文笑話，希望對大家有幫助!

　　長一點的英文笑話：為什麼這樣晚來學校?

　　The teacher asked Tom: "Why did you come to school so late this morning?" "Someone lost one yuan." Answered Tom. "Oh, now I know, you helped him find the money," the teacher said. "No, I stood on the money until the person went away," was Toms reply.

　　A distinguished clergyman and the elders from his congregation attended an out-of-town meeting that did not finish until rather late. They decided to have something to eat before goint home, but unfortunately the only spot open was a seedy bar-and-grill with a questionable reputation.

　　After being served, one of the elders asked the clergyman to say grace.Id rather not,, the clergyman said, I dont want Him to know Im here.

　　長一點的英文笑話：鑰匙還是接吻

　　A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadnt heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teachers neck and kissed him on both cheeks.。

　　長一點的英文笑話：借書

　　Mark Twain once went to borrow a certain book from a neighbour in Tarry town. "May I borrow a book from you?" he asked politely."Yes,youre more than welcome to it," the neighbour told him. "But I must ask you to read it here. You know I make a rule never to let any book go out of my library." Some days later the neighbour wished to borrow Twains machine for cutting grass in the garden. "Why,certainly," Twain told him,"Youre more than welcome to it. But I must ask you to use it here. You know that I make it a rule never to let it go out of my garden." 。

　　長一點的英文笑話：美 德

　　Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

　　When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."

　　美 德

　　獲取研究生學位多年以後，我回到位於賓翰頓的紐約州立大學當教員。一天，電梯裡很擁擠，有人抱怨電梯效率太低。我說自我在那裡當學生起，20年來電梯一直沒有換過。

　　最後當電梯門開啟時，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回過頭來我看到一位年長的修女正在朝我微笑。“你會拿到學位的，親愛的，”她低聲說道：“堅持不懈是一種美德。”