英語笑話帶翻譯短一點簡單爆笑

　　明清文人結集笑話的最終目標指向自娛,在遣興娛情的觀念下,笑話集的藝術性增強。下面小編整理了，希望大家喜歡!

　　摘抄

　　給我帶來好運的托盤

　　An antiques collector was passing a small shop when he noticed a cat on the sidewalk out front, licking milk from a saucer. The man immediately realized the saucer was very old and valuable. He stepped into the shop with an uninterested look and asked to buy the cat. "I'm sorry, " the shop owner said, "but the cat is not for sale: "

　　"Please, " the collector urged, "I need a cat around my house to catch mice. I'll give you 20 dollars. "

　　"The cat is yours," the owner said taking the money.

　　"Listen," the collector added, "I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer as well. The cat seems to like it and I'd hate to have him give it up. "

　　"Sorry," the shop owner answered, "but that saucer brings me luck. Why, just this week I've sold 68 cats!"

　　一個古董收集者正路過一個小店。他發現店前人行道上一隻貓在舔一個托盤上的牛奶。這個人立刻意識到這個托盤是個值錢的古物。他帶著一種毫無興趣的表情步入店內，要買那隻貓。“對不起，”店主說，“這隻貓是不賣的。”

　　“賣給我吧，”收集者敦促道，“我家裡面需要一隻貓來捉老鼠。我給你20元。”

　　“貓歸你了，”店主接過錢說道。

　　“還有，”收集者補充道，“我想你是否能把那隻舊盤子也額外贈送給我。貓好像很喜歡它。我不願意看到它失去這東西。”

　　“對不起，”店主回答說，“但那隻托盤能給我帶來好運。你不知道，光這一週，我就賣掉68只貓!”

　　鑑賞

　　直著行走的螃蟹

　　A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walkingstraight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him getaway .So they got married immediately.

　　The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and gotupset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."

　　"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.

　　一隻雄蟹遇到一隻雌蟹，便要娶她為妻。她注意到他走路是直著走，而不是橫著走。哇!她想，這隻雄蟹可真特別，我可不能讓他跑了。因此他們立刻結婚了。

　　第二天，她又發現她的新郎像其他蟹一樣橫著走路了。她深感不安。“你怎麼了?”她問，“我們結婚前你可是直著走路的。”

　　“哦，寶貝，”他回答說，“我不可能每天都喝那麼多。”

　　賞析

　　給哪一個回電話

　　After I took office as mayor of a small Kentucky city, an unfortunate incident precipitatedsome hateful phone calls to my home. One night while I was conducting a city-council meeting,my wife answered the phone.

　　"Is this the home of Bert May, the mayor?" a woman's voice asked.

　　When my wife explained that I was at a meeting and would return her call if she left a nameand number, the caller said. "That's confidential. This is his girlfriend. "

　　My wife, knowing this was all a ruse, calmly responded, "Lady, if you don't leave your nameand number, he won't know which one to call back

　　我上任為肯塔基州的一個小城的市長後，發生了一件不幸的事，從而招致了一些可恨的電話打到我家裡。一天夜裡，我還在主持市政會議，我妻子接到了一個電話。

　　“是伯特·麥因、市長的家嗎?”一個女人的聲音問道。

　　我妻子向她解釋說我還在開會，如果她留下姓名和電話號碼的話，我會給她回話。通話人馬上說：“這個保密。我是他的女朋友。”

　　我妻子知道這完全是欺詐。她鎮靜地回答說：“女士，如果你不留下姓名和號碼的話，他就不會知道給哪一個回話。”